Read Online Tangerine Morning: Jezzica's Story (Serenity Cove Series) by Rita Garcia - Free Book Online Page B

Being a wife and mom is how I defined myself. My self-esteem hadn’t come from who I am—but rather what I did and the labels I wore.”
    “So if we’re more self-centered and someone hurts us we won’t care?”
    “I asked Dr. Ellie a similar question. After the initial impact of Mike’s betrayal, I became riddled with guilt. I wasn’t perfect enough as a wife. My sense of self was wrapped up in my relationship with Mike and when that tumbled, I collapsed along with it. And I internalized the blame.” Catylen stared at the sea, where darkness had settled over the waves. “I discovered today that my concept of who I am in Christ was lacking—I hadn’t even tapped the surface.”
    “Mom made sure we were in church every Sunday and youth service during the week. Although all the talk about God being love and how much he loves us doesn’t compute in real life.” Jezzica nervously shifted in her chair. “Look at my life, look at yours. Where was God when these horrid things were happening? Where was His great love?” She rose and walked to the edge of the deck.
    Catylen followed her and placed her hand on her sister’s shoulder. “People do bad things, Jezz. If God controlled all the actions of everyone, we’d be nothing but mere robots. God gave us free will. His grace is how we get through the storms.”
    “I’m going for a walk—I won’t be long.” Jezzica rushed down the weathered steps that led to the shore. Her feet automatically picked up speed and evolved into a jog, and pushed faster still. The speed of movement had always been her saving grace. It was the one thing that controlled the pain and made it bearable—when otherwise it would’ve consumed her like a brushfire sweeping through a dry field.
    God, Caty is right. It’s people who do bad things—I get that. But for someone like Geoff to be killed? Look at all the children he helped. He was a great pediatric surgeon—he cared about the children. If money was an issue, he got involved and helped find a solution. Yearly, he traveled to other countries with a team of doctors to help children in need of medical care. And God, he believed in You—why didn’t you protect him? Jezzica detected the pounding of feet behind her. She quickened her pace as fear ripped through her. At the sound of a feminine voice calling her name, she slowed to a stop, bent over and gripped her knees, trying to control her breathing.
    “Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you, I’m Officer Nicole Erickson. I’m patrolling the area, and I noticed you leaving the cottage. You’re getting a little far away to be by yourself.” She touched Jezzica’s arm. “You okay?”
    “I’m fine.” Zack isn’t going to be happy when he hears about this. “I needed to clear my head and this is how I do it. I’m Jezzica.” She reached out her hand.
    Nicole shook her hand. “How about I jog back with you?” Nicole secured her weapon and fell into an easy stride next to her.
    Jezzica admired Nicole’s posture and knew she wasn’t a stranger to running. “How long have you been with the department?”
    “I transferred here about three years ago. Before that, I worked with Zack in Mariner Bay.”
    Was Nicole sending a message or just filling in details? “You know Zack pretty well?”
    “After we went through the police academy together, we both worked for the department in Mariner Bay for another five years. I transferred here and Zack decided to go with the detective division.” Her smile said the memories were good.
    “Did you have anything to do with him transferring here?” Jezzica winced at her boldness—like it was any of her business.
    “No. We’re good friends. We attempted a date once. The connection wasn’t there—for either of us. With that out of the way, we developed a close friendship.” Nicole pushed her bangs off her face and looked at Jezzica. “The playing field is clear.” Jezzica studied her expression and wasn’t inclined to believe