“Big spondulicks too. We can cut a demo on the proceeds, so don’t knock it, buttercup.” He breaks into another, even odder song, with the lyrics “Build me up, buttercup”.
I giggle. “What on earth is that?”
Clover shakes her head. “Awful, isn’t it? Don’t encourage him.” She points into the Lilac Room. “Brains, you’re in there.”
He sticks his head through the door. “Me on my lonesome tonight?”
“Yup. And no Elvis songs, please.”
He dumps his bag on the floor and jumps on to one of the double beds. “Pretty comfy, Clover,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows and giving her a suggestive wink.
“Uh-uh.” She shakes her head, laughing. “Brains, while we’re under the same roof as my sis and Prue, the Amish aunt, I don’t think so.”
“Not even a liddle-iddle cuddle?”
“No! So don’t go getting any ideas.”
“Prue doesn’t approve.” He chuckles. “Hey, there’s a song in that.” He fists a hand in front of his mouth as if he’s clutching a microphone. “Wanna kiss my babe,” he sings in a husky rock voice. “But that Prudie Prue doesn’t approve. Gotta no groove. Doesn’t approve—” He stops suddenly and stares at the doorway.
You guessed it. Prue is leaning against the door frame, her lips pressed together like two thin pink worms. She does not look impressed. Oops.
“Who gave Denis the sweets?” she demands, holding up a familiar-looking now empty plastic bag.
Clover gives a little cough. She opens her mouth to say something, but Brains is too quick for her.
“Moi,” he says. “ Je suis guilty. Arrival present.”
You’d hardly think it possible, but Prue’s lips go even thinner. “Denis is not allowed sugar. He’s on a diet. You may have noticed that he’s not exactly thin.”
Brains shrugs. “Hey, don’t sweat the small stuff. I was a right podge until my teens. Then I went Svelte City.” He waves a hand down his slim body.
“You were fat?” a little voice from behind Prue pipes up. It’s Denis.
“I sure was, little buddy. Fat as Fats Domino.”
Prue looks flabbergasted. “Denis isn’t fat; he just has big bones.”
Brains smiles at her. “Never said he was, ma’am. But me, I was fat .”
“None of this is very constructive,” Prue says, flustered. “Go back to your room, Denis.”
“This is my room,” he says.
“That was only until … um … Brains … arrived,” Prue says, stumbling over Brains’s name. “You’re in with Ollie now, you know that. And no arguments, please.”
Denis mumbles something under his breath, but Prue glares him into submission. “OK, OK, I’m going,” he mutters, heading off down the corridor.
“Hey, the little dude can camp in here with me,” Brains says. “Plenty of room for a nipper. I don’t mind.”
Denis turns back, his face brightening a little.
Prue blinks a few times. She’s clearly never met anyone quite like Brains before. Maybe she doesn’t understand what he’s just said.
“Brains is offering to share the room with Denis,” I say, trying to be helpful.
“I have ears,” Prue practically spits. “I heard what he said! But I don’t think it’s a very good idea. It might give Denis … notions .”
Denis scowls at his mum’s back and then runs off, just as Dan appears behind her.
Dan puts his head on Prue’s shoulder. She winces but doesn’t shrug him away.
“There you are,” he says to her.
“Hey, Dan,” Clover says. “Brains said Denis can bunk in here with him. Might be more fun for him than sharing with Ollie. What do you think?”
Dan looks at Brains. “Are you sure? He can be quite a handful.”
“ No problemo ,” Brains says. “I’m used to kids. Have a little sis at home.”
“I don’t think it’s such a good idea,” Prue says. “Denis is a restless sleeper.”
Brains shrugs. “I sleep like a log; won’t bother me one iota.”
Dan smiles. “And you can always send him outside if he’s farting too much.”
“Dan!”
I giggle. “What on earth is that?”
Clover shakes her head. “Awful, isn’t it? Don’t encourage him.” She points into the Lilac Room. “Brains, you’re in there.”
He sticks his head through the door. “Me on my lonesome tonight?”
“Yup. And no Elvis songs, please.”
He dumps his bag on the floor and jumps on to one of the double beds. “Pretty comfy, Clover,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows and giving her a suggestive wink.
“Uh-uh.” She shakes her head, laughing. “Brains, while we’re under the same roof as my sis and Prue, the Amish aunt, I don’t think so.”
“Not even a liddle-iddle cuddle?”
“No! So don’t go getting any ideas.”
“Prue doesn’t approve.” He chuckles. “Hey, there’s a song in that.” He fists a hand in front of his mouth as if he’s clutching a microphone. “Wanna kiss my babe,” he sings in a husky rock voice. “But that Prudie Prue doesn’t approve. Gotta no groove. Doesn’t approve—” He stops suddenly and stares at the doorway.
You guessed it. Prue is leaning against the door frame, her lips pressed together like two thin pink worms. She does not look impressed. Oops.
“Who gave Denis the sweets?” she demands, holding up a familiar-looking now empty plastic bag.
Clover gives a little cough. She opens her mouth to say something, but Brains is too quick for her.
“Moi,” he says. “ Je suis guilty. Arrival present.”
You’d hardly think it possible, but Prue’s lips go even thinner. “Denis is not allowed sugar. He’s on a diet. You may have noticed that he’s not exactly thin.”
Brains shrugs. “Hey, don’t sweat the small stuff. I was a right podge until my teens. Then I went Svelte City.” He waves a hand down his slim body.
“You were fat?” a little voice from behind Prue pipes up. It’s Denis.
“I sure was, little buddy. Fat as Fats Domino.”
Prue looks flabbergasted. “Denis isn’t fat; he just has big bones.”
Brains smiles at her. “Never said he was, ma’am. But me, I was fat .”
“None of this is very constructive,” Prue says, flustered. “Go back to your room, Denis.”
“This is my room,” he says.
“That was only until … um … Brains … arrived,” Prue says, stumbling over Brains’s name. “You’re in with Ollie now, you know that. And no arguments, please.”
Denis mumbles something under his breath, but Prue glares him into submission. “OK, OK, I’m going,” he mutters, heading off down the corridor.
“Hey, the little dude can camp in here with me,” Brains says. “Plenty of room for a nipper. I don’t mind.”
Denis turns back, his face brightening a little.
Prue blinks a few times. She’s clearly never met anyone quite like Brains before. Maybe she doesn’t understand what he’s just said.
“Brains is offering to share the room with Denis,” I say, trying to be helpful.
“I have ears,” Prue practically spits. “I heard what he said! But I don’t think it’s a very good idea. It might give Denis … notions .”
Denis scowls at his mum’s back and then runs off, just as Dan appears behind her.
Dan puts his head on Prue’s shoulder. She winces but doesn’t shrug him away.
“There you are,” he says to her.
“Hey, Dan,” Clover says. “Brains said Denis can bunk in here with him. Might be more fun for him than sharing with Ollie. What do you think?”
Dan looks at Brains. “Are you sure? He can be quite a handful.”
“ No problemo ,” Brains says. “I’m used to kids. Have a little sis at home.”
“I don’t think it’s such a good idea,” Prue says. “Denis is a restless sleeper.”
Brains shrugs. “I sleep like a log; won’t bother me one iota.”
Dan smiles. “And you can always send him outside if he’s farting too much.”
“Dan!”
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