“Fuck yeah even though this time, with her, I’ll admit it even disgusts me. But I don’t know any other way. ”
Alex listens to me but offers me very little helpful advice. He agrees I need to take things with Sydney slowly; he tries to talk me out of it completely. Not an option. Not going to happen. I agree to keep him informed on my intentions which I promise him are to keep her safe, I promise never to hurt her in any way. Honestly, it’s me I’m scared for in that realm, not her.
After Alex leaves I try to concentrate and get some work done but it’s impossible. I keep seeing her face, smelling her scent. I’m losing my fucking mind over this girl. I finally give up, unable to resist the urge to be close to her now. Actually now is too long to wait.
************
I’m still deep in my work when I hear my cell phone sing again. I pick it up and see that gorgeous smirking face on the screen and an involuntary smile spreads across my face.
Damian tells me that he’s in route back to the apartment building and asks if it’s alright for him to stop by saying he’d like to see me. I agree and frantically rush to reapply my makeup, tousle my hair and check my clothes. I am wearing a purple t-shirt tied in a knot on my left side revealing a sliver of my tummy with truffle fleece shorts. Before I can even contemplate getting changed there’s a knock on my door so my clothes will just have to do.
When I open the door Damian is standing there holding a six pack and a pizza box. “Delivery boy” he teases as I motion him in. We eat out of the box and drink our beers out of the bottles. It’s a casual evening of two people getting to know each other. Damian doesn’t try to kiss me again until he rises to his feet saying he should let me get to sleep. I walk him to the door and he reminds me that he’s in the building if I need anything. When I say good night he slowly bends while looking at me with a tentative look on his face. He licks his lips before touching his lips to mine then he pulls back and looks at me. My eyes are closed and he waits for me to open them before going in for another kiss. This time he takes my face in both of his hands and kisses me more deeply with his tongue searching in my mouth for mine. By the time he comes up for air I am jelly and only standing erect because he is holding me up on my shaking legs. I wish we had skipped the pizza, beer and conversation and just done this all night.
“Bye Sydney. Sleep tight” he breathes in his raspy voice into my ear.
And with those two little words, “sleep tight”, the moment is ruined. I don’t think Damian realizes as he turns to leave. The memories are flooding in as I close the door behind him. “Sleep tight”…that’s what Ryan used to say.
Chapter 6
The summer before it all changed my mother had broken up with a boyfriend; someone I suspected was much younger than her, maybe even a student. She thought I didn’t know what was going on but I’d hear pieces of phone conversations and a few times when I was outside an expensive looking sports car drove by really slow and stopped in front of our house. A young guy drove and another was in the passenger seat, that one just kind of looked at me. I assumed he was the boyfriend and probably surprised to learn that my mother had a child; I have no doubt that she kept me a secret from her boyfriends especially if they were as young and good looking as the one in the car.
By the early fall of 2005 when I had just stared high school she had found herself a new boyfriend. This one was at least her own age. He was very wealthy and had been married before, was recently divorced, he had a son who attended the state college in the area and lived with his mother the rest of the time. Their romance moved quickly and within weeks mother and I were moving into his home. At first I thought it was great. I was living