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Authors: Diana Murdock
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chased me out of my room and into my mother’s, my screams echoing off the walls.
Shawn lightly touched my elbow, forcing me to get my head out of Illinois and back to Sandpoint.
“Do you see how the color of the fire has changed ? The pattern of the flames is different, too.”
I nodded , doing my best to see what he did.
“That’s how you know the fire is friendly an d ready to accept our offering.” Shawn stood at the north side of the fire pit and said, “I’ll go first. You can stand behind me and hold a space like this.” His arms created a half circle to the sides and in front of him, like a protected harbor.
Wrapping the space around him was like wrapping my arms around a giant Sequoia. The centuries-old energy that surrounded him challenged the confines of my arms and pressed against my skin. Just like the ball of energy Mom and I had held in our palms, its vibration pulsed with heavy energy, testing my strength.
He kneeled in front of the pit and placed his death arrow in the heart of the flames. He then quickly passed his hands through the smoke and drew it toward his belly, again to his heart, to his forehead, and once more over his head, as if pouring the fire’s energy over himself.
With his offering complete, he stood to face me. “Now you can approach from any direction.”
I chose the west side and kneeled before the fire, with Shawn holding space behind me.
“Thank you,” I whispered to my arrow, the holder of my secret pain, and placed it in the center of the fire with gratitude. I imagined the light of the energy within the arrow growing beyond its boundaries, wrapped in love, and releasing into the air. Just as Shawn had done, I scooped the smoke from the pit and pulled it to my stomach, my heart, my forehead, and over my head. I waited for the cleansing energy to sink in before I stood.
In the pit, our sticks burned with such intensity I’d never seen before, as if they were gasoline-fueled. Sparks spit and the flames expanded and narrowed, not stopping until they had consumed our offering.
Before the fire could die down completely, Shawn handed me a slightly larger stick he had chosen earlier.
“This is the Pachamama stick. We blow blessings for the Earth into it.”
Blessings for Mother Earth. I kicked off my sandals and pressed my bare toes to the grass, willing the vibration to connect with mine. I was now part of her healing and I would do whatever it took to help her. Pressing the Pachamama stick to my lips, I blew into the rough surface with true love and intent, and all my blessings, and then passed it onto Shawn. He closed his eyes for a moment before sharing his.
Together we placed it into the fire.
“Do you feel a difference in the fire now?”
The flames waved lazily as if they had all the time in the world to burn what was left of the wood. But I tried to see beyond the obvious. I tried to see with my soul instead of my eyes.
“The sense of urgency is gone, ” I said. “I sense calmness, like there’s no more disturbance.”
A smile tipped the corners of his lips up to mirror my own.
I felt like the fire. I’d found my moment of calm.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
My junior year at Sandpoint High School was a welcome change of pace. The rest of the summer had slipped by like a slow-moving stream – slow enough to enjoy, but not enough to go stir crazy. I spent a lot of time on our dock, reading the books I had gotten at the estate sale and learning more about myself.
S ix months into the school year, I looked back and wondered how much longer I could have continued on in the role of the popular Alyx. Such a contrast. Since Taylor and I were no longer close friends, I completely faded from the social radar.
As for Justin, I couldn’t compete with Taylor’s determination to go back to him day after day to get his attention and, unless I joined the wrestling team, there was no hope of winning Justin over. The longer I watched him, though, it occurred
Shawn lightly touched my elbow, forcing me to get my head out of Illinois and back to Sandpoint.
“Do you see how the color of the fire has changed ? The pattern of the flames is different, too.”
I nodded , doing my best to see what he did.
“That’s how you know the fire is friendly an d ready to accept our offering.” Shawn stood at the north side of the fire pit and said, “I’ll go first. You can stand behind me and hold a space like this.” His arms created a half circle to the sides and in front of him, like a protected harbor.
Wrapping the space around him was like wrapping my arms around a giant Sequoia. The centuries-old energy that surrounded him challenged the confines of my arms and pressed against my skin. Just like the ball of energy Mom and I had held in our palms, its vibration pulsed with heavy energy, testing my strength.
He kneeled in front of the pit and placed his death arrow in the heart of the flames. He then quickly passed his hands through the smoke and drew it toward his belly, again to his heart, to his forehead, and once more over his head, as if pouring the fire’s energy over himself.
With his offering complete, he stood to face me. “Now you can approach from any direction.”
I chose the west side and kneeled before the fire, with Shawn holding space behind me.
“Thank you,” I whispered to my arrow, the holder of my secret pain, and placed it in the center of the fire with gratitude. I imagined the light of the energy within the arrow growing beyond its boundaries, wrapped in love, and releasing into the air. Just as Shawn had done, I scooped the smoke from the pit and pulled it to my stomach, my heart, my forehead, and over my head. I waited for the cleansing energy to sink in before I stood.
In the pit, our sticks burned with such intensity I’d never seen before, as if they were gasoline-fueled. Sparks spit and the flames expanded and narrowed, not stopping until they had consumed our offering.
Before the fire could die down completely, Shawn handed me a slightly larger stick he had chosen earlier.
“This is the Pachamama stick. We blow blessings for the Earth into it.”
Blessings for Mother Earth. I kicked off my sandals and pressed my bare toes to the grass, willing the vibration to connect with mine. I was now part of her healing and I would do whatever it took to help her. Pressing the Pachamama stick to my lips, I blew into the rough surface with true love and intent, and all my blessings, and then passed it onto Shawn. He closed his eyes for a moment before sharing his.
Together we placed it into the fire.
“Do you feel a difference in the fire now?”
The flames waved lazily as if they had all the time in the world to burn what was left of the wood. But I tried to see beyond the obvious. I tried to see with my soul instead of my eyes.
“The sense of urgency is gone, ” I said. “I sense calmness, like there’s no more disturbance.”
A smile tipped the corners of his lips up to mirror my own.
I felt like the fire. I’d found my moment of calm.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
My junior year at Sandpoint High School was a welcome change of pace. The rest of the summer had slipped by like a slow-moving stream – slow enough to enjoy, but not enough to go stir crazy. I spent a lot of time on our dock, reading the books I had gotten at the estate sale and learning more about myself.
S ix months into the school year, I looked back and wondered how much longer I could have continued on in the role of the popular Alyx. Such a contrast. Since Taylor and I were no longer close friends, I completely faded from the social radar.
As for Justin, I couldn’t compete with Taylor’s determination to go back to him day after day to get his attention and, unless I joined the wrestling team, there was no hope of winning Justin over. The longer I watched him, though, it occurred
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