Read Online Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Neal Stephenson
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measures to ensure your cooperation,” the first MetaCop says.
“You stay cool and we'll stay cool,” the second MetaCop says.
“However, we are equipped with devices, including but not limited to projectile weapons, which, if used, may pose an extreme and immediate threat to your health and well-being.”
“Make one funny move and we'll blow your head off,” the second MetaCop says.
“Just unglom my fuckin' hand,” Y.T. says. She has heard all this a million times before.
White Columns, like most Burbclaves, has no jail, no police station. So unsightly. Property values. Think of the liability exposure. MetaCops has a franchise just down the road that serves as headquarters. As for a jail, some place to habeas the occasional stray corpus, any half-decent franchise strip has one.
They are cruising in the Mobile Unit. Y.T.'s hands are cuffed together in front of her. One hand is still half-encased in rubbery goo, smelling so intensely of vinyl fumes that both MetaCops have rolled down their windows. Six feet of loose fibers trail into her lap, across the floor of the Unit, out the door, and drag on the pavement. The MetaCops are taking it easy, cruising down the middle lane, not above issuing a speeding ticket here and there as long as they're in their jurisdiction. Motorists around them drive slowly and sanely, appalled by the thought of having to pull over and listen to half an hour of disclaimers, advisements, and tangled justifications from the likes of these. The occasional CosaNostra delivery boy whips past them in the left lane, orange lights aflame, and they pretend not to notice.
“What's it gonna be, the Hoosegow or The Clink?” the first MetaCop says. From the way he is talking, he must be talking to the other MetaCop.
“The Hoosegow, please,” Y.T. says.
“The Clink!” the other MetaCop says, turning around, sneering at her through the antiballistic glass, wallowing in power.
The whole interior of the car lights up as they drive past a Buy 'n' Fly. Loiter in the parking lot of a Buy 'n' Fly and you'd get a suntan. Then WorldBeat Security would come and arrest you. All that security-inducing light makes the Visa and MasterCard stickers on the driver's-side window glow for a moment.
“Y.T. is card-carrying,” Y.T. says. “What does it cost to get off?”
“How come you keep calling yourself Whitey?” the second MetaCop says. Like many people of color, he has misconstrued her name.
“Not whitey. Y.T.,” the first MetaCop says.
“That's what Y.T. is called,” Y.T. says.
“That's what I said,” the second MetaCop says. “Whitey.”
“Y.T.,” the first one says, accenting the T so brutally that he throws a glittering burst of saliva against the windshield. “Let me guess—Yolanda Truman?”
“No.”
“Yvonne Thomas?”
“No.”
“Whatsit stand for?”
“Nothing.”
Actually, it stands for Yours Truly, but if they can't figure that out, fuck 'em.
“You can't afford it,” the first MetaCop says. “You're going up against TMAWH here.”
“I don't have to officially get off. I could just escape.”
“This is a class Unit. We don't support escapes,” the first MetaCop says.
“Tell you what,” the second one says. “You pay us a trillion bucks and we'll take you to a Hoosegow. Then you can bargain with them.”
“Half a trillion,” Y.T. says.
“Seven hundred and fifty billion,” the MetaCop says. “Final. Shit, you're wearing cuffs, you can't be bargaining with us.”
Y.T. unzips a pocket on the thigh of her coverall, pulls out the card with her clean hand, runs it through a slot on the back of the front seat, puts it back in her pocket.
The Hoosegow looks like a nice new one. Y.T. has seen hotels that were worse places to sleep. Its logo sign, a saguaro cactus with a black cowboy hat resting on top of it at a jaunty angle, is brand-new and clean.
THE HOOSEGOW
Premium incarceration and restraint services
We
“You stay cool and we'll stay cool,” the second MetaCop says.
“However, we are equipped with devices, including but not limited to projectile weapons, which, if used, may pose an extreme and immediate threat to your health and well-being.”
“Make one funny move and we'll blow your head off,” the second MetaCop says.
“Just unglom my fuckin' hand,” Y.T. says. She has heard all this a million times before.
White Columns, like most Burbclaves, has no jail, no police station. So unsightly. Property values. Think of the liability exposure. MetaCops has a franchise just down the road that serves as headquarters. As for a jail, some place to habeas the occasional stray corpus, any half-decent franchise strip has one.
They are cruising in the Mobile Unit. Y.T.'s hands are cuffed together in front of her. One hand is still half-encased in rubbery goo, smelling so intensely of vinyl fumes that both MetaCops have rolled down their windows. Six feet of loose fibers trail into her lap, across the floor of the Unit, out the door, and drag on the pavement. The MetaCops are taking it easy, cruising down the middle lane, not above issuing a speeding ticket here and there as long as they're in their jurisdiction. Motorists around them drive slowly and sanely, appalled by the thought of having to pull over and listen to half an hour of disclaimers, advisements, and tangled justifications from the likes of these. The occasional CosaNostra delivery boy whips past them in the left lane, orange lights aflame, and they pretend not to notice.
“What's it gonna be, the Hoosegow or The Clink?” the first MetaCop says. From the way he is talking, he must be talking to the other MetaCop.
“The Hoosegow, please,” Y.T. says.
“The Clink!” the other MetaCop says, turning around, sneering at her through the antiballistic glass, wallowing in power.
The whole interior of the car lights up as they drive past a Buy 'n' Fly. Loiter in the parking lot of a Buy 'n' Fly and you'd get a suntan. Then WorldBeat Security would come and arrest you. All that security-inducing light makes the Visa and MasterCard stickers on the driver's-side window glow for a moment.
“Y.T. is card-carrying,” Y.T. says. “What does it cost to get off?”
“How come you keep calling yourself Whitey?” the second MetaCop says. Like many people of color, he has misconstrued her name.
“Not whitey. Y.T.,” the first MetaCop says.
“That's what Y.T. is called,” Y.T. says.
“That's what I said,” the second MetaCop says. “Whitey.”
“Y.T.,” the first one says, accenting the T so brutally that he throws a glittering burst of saliva against the windshield. “Let me guess—Yolanda Truman?”
“No.”
“Yvonne Thomas?”
“No.”
“Whatsit stand for?”
“Nothing.”
Actually, it stands for Yours Truly, but if they can't figure that out, fuck 'em.
“You can't afford it,” the first MetaCop says. “You're going up against TMAWH here.”
“I don't have to officially get off. I could just escape.”
“This is a class Unit. We don't support escapes,” the first MetaCop says.
“Tell you what,” the second one says. “You pay us a trillion bucks and we'll take you to a Hoosegow. Then you can bargain with them.”
“Half a trillion,” Y.T. says.
“Seven hundred and fifty billion,” the MetaCop says. “Final. Shit, you're wearing cuffs, you can't be bargaining with us.”
Y.T. unzips a pocket on the thigh of her coverall, pulls out the card with her clean hand, runs it through a slot on the back of the front seat, puts it back in her pocket.
The Hoosegow looks like a nice new one. Y.T. has seen hotels that were worse places to sleep. Its logo sign, a saguaro cactus with a black cowboy hat resting on top of it at a jaunty angle, is brand-new and clean.
THE HOOSEGOW
Premium incarceration and restraint services
We
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