comes out in shaky gasps. She steadies herself on the rocky edge of the cave so she doesn’t faint with relief, surprise, and left-over fear. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Good to see you, too. I love greetings as warm as ‘what the hell.’ …”
A long silence grows between them. Melissa stares at the black boots, then her gaze travels up the length of James’s body until she meets his eyes. The last time she saw him he was getting groped by Charlie. Where is Charlie now? No doubt wondering where James is. Not that he meant to be with me or anything, but still. “How’d you find me?”
“After I left The Tops, I fell asleep in the back of the van. So when I woke up, freezing, I might add, I stumbled around outside until I saw a light go on in here.”
Melissa holds her hands in front of her now, the fingers entwined as though she and James are holding hands. She remembers flicking the lights and points to the ceiling. “Blue. Kind of cool, huh?”
James steps toward her. “Very.” He wanders around a little, with Melissa watching him as he eyes the merry-go-round, the battleships, the knights in armor, the papier-mâche hearts and snakes. “This place is incredible.”
“I know. It’s so great. All the potential …” She bites her lip, wishing hard that she didn’t still feel the exact same way about James as she had the first day she met him. “Look at this.” She shows James a snow globe that stands taller than both of them. The outside is clear; inside a plastic couple ice skates, their legs grounded to a plastic pond. “Anyway, there’s just tons of stuff here.” She doesn’t want him to think she pointed out the snow-globe couple to highlight what they could have been, or that she’s suggesting she still has feelings for him. To cover this, she motions to the giant wolf. “Now, that is worth getting creeped out about.”
“Did I really freak you out?” James laughs and pats the giant wolf, calling to it as though it’s a sweet, floppy puppy. “I’m sorry—I figured you knew I was in the van.
“Believe me, I didn’t.” Melissa thinks about the lump in the back of the van, how if she’d put two and two together she’d have realized the orange of James’s jacket was the orange fabric she saw. “I thought you were someone’s laundry.”
“I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but never laundry.”
They laugh and wind up sitting atop two of the carousel horses, side by side. James has a large steed poised in bucking bronco position, while Melissa straddles a dappled grey, her legs kicking down to the stirrups.
“Guess we’re not going to go anywhere,” James says.
“I guess not.” Melissa wonders if he means the horses or them. She holds her ribs while clutching the reins. “Can I ask you something?” James nods. “How come you haven’t … inquired after my health?” She wants to ask him why he hasn’t paid her any attention, not just about the accident, but can’t bring herself to sound needy.
James coughs and swings his legs around so he’s riding sidesaddle, and looks at Melissa. “Truth?”
Melissa’s stomach rolls over. “Yeah.”
“When I …” He starts but then stops. “I have this tendency to …” Shaking his head, he jumps off the horse and begins to pace in front of the carousel where the mirrors are lined up. Melissa watches James and the many reflections of him as he tries to explain. “You may or may not have noticed that I’m not the most forthcoming in terms of expressing myself.” He doesn’t wait for Melissa to answer. “And the thing is that on Sunday, when the shit hit the fan and I found out about you and Gabe and …”
“Wait—I want to explain….” Melissa knows now’s her chance to set the record straight. That she semiliked Gabe, that it wasn’t … how could she phrase it, though? Whatever way you wrote it up, it sounded like she never liked James that much. Or never liked him enough to do
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