wasn’t your fault. That’s my flaw, not
yours.”
“I knew damn well that you were planning to
go rogue the night you served that warrant at Dunhaven. Did I stop
you when it would’ve made a difference? No. I let you do what you
wanted. You got hurt. Hell, you wouldn’t have gotten shot at Uncle
Nasty’s if I hadn’t been so determined to dig for the truth. Yet
you don’t see it that way.”
“There’s no comparison for the things you’ve
done.”
Johnny’s arms tightened. “I know that Rick
Hamilton was filth, Helen. He deserved to die. Is suicide a
plausible story? Apparently so. Do I really buy that explanation
for his death?”
My chin dipped to my chest. “If you thought
it was a lie, why would you protect me like that?”
“I understand that kind of frustration. I
know that deep down in your heart, you’d never hurt someone truly
innocent. I know that whatever happened in the park that night, it
wasn’t premeditated, that you simply snapped. He threatened you. He
ruined your career, Helen.”
“How can you love me, if you believe that
you protected a murderer?” Large tears streaked down my cheeks.
Johnny brushed them away and held me tighter.
He didn’t answer the question right away,
and never did address it directly.
Finally, he spoke. “Salvatore Masconi.”
“What?”
“I was convinced he was guilty. Gwen told me
that he would never hurt another child again, Helen. I knew what it
meant. I ignored it, because I believed that a greater good had
been served. Later, I came to regret that decision, because I
learned the truth, that Masconi couldn’t have been Brighton
Bennett’s killer. By then, the trail was ice cold. The evidence
that would’ve put Datello behind bars was long since destroyed. I’m
not the paragon of virtue you think I am. You didn’t corrupt
me.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because you’re my wife. Because I don’t
want any secrets between us anymore. You need to understand that no
matter what happens, I love you. I accept that things are less than
perfect. You make sense to me, because in a lot of ways, we’re
exactly the same.”
“Would you be angry if I admitted that I
thought of telling you the truth after you married me because I
knew it would be protected by spousal privilege?”
Johnny laughed softly and kissed the side of
my head. “No, it wouldn’t upset me at all, nor would it come as any
surprise. What has amazed me since the very first case we worked
last year is how you pull such random tidbits of information
together to make a concrete case out of them. Helen, I know
something else happened with Gillette on that ship. What I don’t
know is why you’re keeping that information from me. Surely you
know that nothing will ever make me turn against you.”
“His death truly was self defense,
Johnny.”
“He’s lucky you got to him first.”
“You would’ve done the right thing. It was
an easy out for him. If I thought I had a choice, I’d have
preferred that he go to prison for his crimes, believe me. Death
was too kind.”
“Are you ready to tell me the truth about
what happened now?”
I opened my mouth to protest.
“Don’t lie to me. I know the
difference.”
“Johnny –”
“I can see a lie a mile away, Helen.
Whatever it is, you may as well tell me now. Who knows? Maybe I can
help sort out whatever it is that’s been eating at you.”
“I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”
“Get ready. I’ll lose patience eventually.
Do you really want me digging for the truth on my own again?”
“No,” I said softly.
“Then why don’t you tell me the truth right
now?”
“Because it could be nothing. I don’t want
to open a can of worms if I’m wrong.”
“And I’m still waiting for the day when your
gut leads you in the wrong direction. I don’t think it’s possible.
If you’ve got reason enough for suspicion, and it’s making you hide
something from me, odds are, you’re on the right
yours.”
“I knew damn well that you were planning to
go rogue the night you served that warrant at Dunhaven. Did I stop
you when it would’ve made a difference? No. I let you do what you
wanted. You got hurt. Hell, you wouldn’t have gotten shot at Uncle
Nasty’s if I hadn’t been so determined to dig for the truth. Yet
you don’t see it that way.”
“There’s no comparison for the things you’ve
done.”
Johnny’s arms tightened. “I know that Rick
Hamilton was filth, Helen. He deserved to die. Is suicide a
plausible story? Apparently so. Do I really buy that explanation
for his death?”
My chin dipped to my chest. “If you thought
it was a lie, why would you protect me like that?”
“I understand that kind of frustration. I
know that deep down in your heart, you’d never hurt someone truly
innocent. I know that whatever happened in the park that night, it
wasn’t premeditated, that you simply snapped. He threatened you. He
ruined your career, Helen.”
“How can you love me, if you believe that
you protected a murderer?” Large tears streaked down my cheeks.
Johnny brushed them away and held me tighter.
He didn’t answer the question right away,
and never did address it directly.
Finally, he spoke. “Salvatore Masconi.”
“What?”
“I was convinced he was guilty. Gwen told me
that he would never hurt another child again, Helen. I knew what it
meant. I ignored it, because I believed that a greater good had
been served. Later, I came to regret that decision, because I
learned the truth, that Masconi couldn’t have been Brighton
Bennett’s killer. By then, the trail was ice cold. The evidence
that would’ve put Datello behind bars was long since destroyed. I’m
not the paragon of virtue you think I am. You didn’t corrupt
me.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because you’re my wife. Because I don’t
want any secrets between us anymore. You need to understand that no
matter what happens, I love you. I accept that things are less than
perfect. You make sense to me, because in a lot of ways, we’re
exactly the same.”
“Would you be angry if I admitted that I
thought of telling you the truth after you married me because I
knew it would be protected by spousal privilege?”
Johnny laughed softly and kissed the side of
my head. “No, it wouldn’t upset me at all, nor would it come as any
surprise. What has amazed me since the very first case we worked
last year is how you pull such random tidbits of information
together to make a concrete case out of them. Helen, I know
something else happened with Gillette on that ship. What I don’t
know is why you’re keeping that information from me. Surely you
know that nothing will ever make me turn against you.”
“His death truly was self defense,
Johnny.”
“He’s lucky you got to him first.”
“You would’ve done the right thing. It was
an easy out for him. If I thought I had a choice, I’d have
preferred that he go to prison for his crimes, believe me. Death
was too kind.”
“Are you ready to tell me the truth about
what happened now?”
I opened my mouth to protest.
“Don’t lie to me. I know the
difference.”
“Johnny –”
“I can see a lie a mile away, Helen.
Whatever it is, you may as well tell me now. Who knows? Maybe I can
help sort out whatever it is that’s been eating at you.”
“I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”
“Get ready. I’ll lose patience eventually.
Do you really want me digging for the truth on my own again?”
“No,” I said softly.
“Then why don’t you tell me the truth right
now?”
“Because it could be nothing. I don’t want
to open a can of worms if I’m wrong.”
“And I’m still waiting for the day when your
gut leads you in the wrong direction. I don’t think it’s possible.
If you’ve got reason enough for suspicion, and it’s making you hide
something from me, odds are, you’re on the right
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