Read Online Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality by Darrel Ray - Free Book Online
Authors: Darrel Ray
Tags: Religión, General, Psychology, Christianity, Atheism, Sexuality & Gender Studies, Human Sexuality
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Shame can be brought upon the family for one person’s behavior. For example, if a Jehovah’s Witness sees another committing a sin, he is obligated to report it to the elders. Two elders then investigate the incident.If they determine a violation has happened, a three-elder committee meets with the member in a disciplinary meeting. The discipline can be anything from a mild reproach, to a public announcement at the meeting, to being disfellowshipped.
During the discipline meeting, the person is encouraged to reveal if he or she has witnessed others committing sin. The idea is that a person cannot be guilt-free if he has seen others sinning and not reported it. Unlike Islam, Jehovah’s Witnesses have to work in a culture that has competing religions and many secular influences. It is a major task to keep the members isolated from outside ideas. Guilt and shame are the main tools.
Conclusion
Lest I overstate the case, shame is not limited to religion. It can be used without reference to religion or the supernatural, but religions have found shame to be a powerful tool for maintaining religious conformity and to control or limit sexual behavior. Building on our understanding of these psychological tools, let’s look at how these come together to allow many of the abuses perpetuated by religion.
36 If you are thinking that guilt and shame sound a lot alike, especially in the extreme, you are correct. Entire books have been written trying to distinguish between the two. To keep the discussion from getting too academic, we are using these simple distinctions.
37 Theo Van Gogh was murdered by a Muslim man in Amsterdam for making a short film about women in Islam. His partner, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, was threatened and has been in hiding or guarded since. Similarly, Salman Rushdie is under threat of a fatwah for publishing his book
Satanic Verses
.
CHAPTER 6:
MIND POLICE AND THOUGHT CONTROL
Guilt is a key tool by which religion controls people. Guilt impedes effective communication and undermines sexual confidence and enjoyment
.
“PORNOGRAPHY: The name given to any sexual literature somebody is trying to suppress.”
-Alex Comfort, The Joy of Sex
Religious Police
Saudi Arabia has religious police charged with maintaining the public morals. They arrest people who are in violation of the religious dress or behavior codes of the kingdom. Thus, if two people kiss in public, they are subject to arrest and prosecution by the religious authorities. If a woman is not properly covered in public, she is seen as a public danger and prosecuted for exposing an ankle or face. Consequences can be severe for both the individual and the family. As we discussed in Chapter 5 , shame is an enormously effective tool because it brings communal pressure to bear on both the individual and the family.
While we may be horrified at the notion of religious police, there are ways to control by different means. The guilt cycle is an effective method of creating self-policing and self-censorship. It works like this.
The Guilt Cycle, or the Police Officer in Your Head
Each religion has certain things that are forbidden or sinful. Children are taught these with many examples, stories and subtle signals as they grow up. In the area of sex, the secretiveness, subtle language and behavior of adults and occasional public examples all work to infect a child with fear of transgressing. Also, punishments, ostracism and humiliation often occur when sexual behavior is discovered or suspected, ensuring that these lessons are internalized. If a person violates the code, there is no way to hide, the god knows you did it, even if your parents do not, and the god will punish you unless you confess. These are powerful ideas for a child. Children are very susceptible to magical thinking at three to seven years of age, when they’re being taught magical ideas about gods watching or punishing them. It is a pattern of thinking that is embedded in the child's
Shame can be brought upon the family for one person’s behavior. For example, if a Jehovah’s Witness sees another committing a sin, he is obligated to report it to the elders. Two elders then investigate the incident.If they determine a violation has happened, a three-elder committee meets with the member in a disciplinary meeting. The discipline can be anything from a mild reproach, to a public announcement at the meeting, to being disfellowshipped.
During the discipline meeting, the person is encouraged to reveal if he or she has witnessed others committing sin. The idea is that a person cannot be guilt-free if he has seen others sinning and not reported it. Unlike Islam, Jehovah’s Witnesses have to work in a culture that has competing religions and many secular influences. It is a major task to keep the members isolated from outside ideas. Guilt and shame are the main tools.
Conclusion
Lest I overstate the case, shame is not limited to religion. It can be used without reference to religion or the supernatural, but religions have found shame to be a powerful tool for maintaining religious conformity and to control or limit sexual behavior. Building on our understanding of these psychological tools, let’s look at how these come together to allow many of the abuses perpetuated by religion.
36 If you are thinking that guilt and shame sound a lot alike, especially in the extreme, you are correct. Entire books have been written trying to distinguish between the two. To keep the discussion from getting too academic, we are using these simple distinctions.
37 Theo Van Gogh was murdered by a Muslim man in Amsterdam for making a short film about women in Islam. His partner, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, was threatened and has been in hiding or guarded since. Similarly, Salman Rushdie is under threat of a fatwah for publishing his book
Satanic Verses
.
CHAPTER 6:
MIND POLICE AND THOUGHT CONTROL
Guilt is a key tool by which religion controls people. Guilt impedes effective communication and undermines sexual confidence and enjoyment
.
“PORNOGRAPHY: The name given to any sexual literature somebody is trying to suppress.”
-Alex Comfort, The Joy of Sex
Religious Police
Saudi Arabia has religious police charged with maintaining the public morals. They arrest people who are in violation of the religious dress or behavior codes of the kingdom. Thus, if two people kiss in public, they are subject to arrest and prosecution by the religious authorities. If a woman is not properly covered in public, she is seen as a public danger and prosecuted for exposing an ankle or face. Consequences can be severe for both the individual and the family. As we discussed in Chapter 5 , shame is an enormously effective tool because it brings communal pressure to bear on both the individual and the family.
While we may be horrified at the notion of religious police, there are ways to control by different means. The guilt cycle is an effective method of creating self-policing and self-censorship. It works like this.
The Guilt Cycle, or the Police Officer in Your Head
Each religion has certain things that are forbidden or sinful. Children are taught these with many examples, stories and subtle signals as they grow up. In the area of sex, the secretiveness, subtle language and behavior of adults and occasional public examples all work to infect a child with fear of transgressing. Also, punishments, ostracism and humiliation often occur when sexual behavior is discovered or suspected, ensuring that these lessons are internalized. If a person violates the code, there is no way to hide, the god knows you did it, even if your parents do not, and the god will punish you unless you confess. These are powerful ideas for a child. Children are very susceptible to magical thinking at three to seven years of age, when they’re being taught magical ideas about gods watching or punishing them. It is a pattern of thinking that is embedded in the child's
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