night out with the spooks. I know too much about what fear really is and it gets in the way of everything I do. I wasnât afraid when I was out there last time. I was just boiling mad, trying to stay alive and save the horses. I convinced myself that the burning and pain were a dream, until we came home and everything was changed. Dreams donât do that â only reality. The fear came on afterwards and itâs never gone away. The truth is that Iâve been a mess ever since I ended up at World Tree.
He forced himself to build a mental picture of the Tree as he knew it, and might soon be facing again. So huge thereâs no beginning and no end to it⦠so much more alive than anything else Iâve ever seen⦠grabbing the sacrifices and hanging them up⦠the man with the haggard face and his mare going under Gungnir, the Spear⦠all that light⦠all the power⦠the voice in the shadow⦠donât forget the rats.
The sweat broke out again, running down his face and his neck. He muttered, âThe Haggard Man wanted to be sacrificed, but there was a lot that didnât. They were scared shitless too. It wasnât just me. They stank of fear and it gave them away to the spooks. I wonât get the runes if I turn up stinking like that again. I wonât make it past the Place of Judgement, or whatever they want to call it. Iâll just end up dead in the void.â
The outline of the rune was still shining faintly on the great black head of the spear, taunting him for his lack of knowledge and skill. I donât even know what itâs called or how it works. Even Kyri canât help me, and the old manâs useless.
He slipped his fingers into the leather bag in his trouser pocket and took out one of the little wooden counters, turning it over to examine the mark burned into the polished wood. Itâs always the Ice Rune, he thought bitterly. âIce we call the broad bridge; the blind man must be led.â He put the rune back in the bag before he followed the temptation to throw it away.
âYou used to help me,â he accused the old tree. âI thought we were friends. But you didnât like me that first time I came up here, did you? You were shaking me so hard I dropped the knife and nearly messed up my chance to cut the rune staves. You would have succeeded if it hadnât been for Bryn.â He produced a small dagger from the sheath at his waist. âItâs not the same one I stuck you with before. That got fried on the way back from World Tree. This oneâs better. Al helped me make it and it can do a lot more damage.â He tested the blade against the bark. âStill asleep, huh?â
He began carving his name in runes into the thickly knotted trunk, cutting deliberately deeper with every stroke of the blade⦠C, the torch rune⦠A, the oak rune .
âYou know that one, donât you?â he said slyly, waiting for the shuddering to begin. He hung onto a branch, pumping his legs up and down on the bough, trying to shake the tree into reacting. Furiously, he cut the last rune, driving the dagger up to the hilt into the bark.
âZ, the eel-sedge rune, the one that makes a ghastly wound!â he shouted. âDonât you remember? Come on! Wake up! Fight me! Shake me down! What do I have to do to get you to help me?â
He hooked his legs over the bough and swung upside down, looking up at the sky through the branches. Maybe Iâll end up like the old man, living my whole life alone, a mad, grey-haired, weird old dodderer ringing the bell for Jem to bring me tea and biscuits.
âOr perhaps you would care to join me for a little wine, my dear Lady Sibylla? â he said aloud, mouthing the plummy aristocratic vowels and adjusting an invisible eye patch.
There wonât be any point keeping vows by then, he thought miserably. Iâll be too old and stupid to do anything except get blind
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