want to endure his scrutiny. She felt open and exposed and ashamed to be
falling for him the way she was. Just one look from the man and she went gaga.
Jae took hold of
her wrist and wouldn’t let her leave. “No Lefty?” he asked teasingly.
Sue remained
silent, looking fixedly at a painting that meant nothing to her, yet she was
looking at it as if grabbing for life. As if that painting held her grounded
and if she took her eyes off it, she might float away into darkness where she
might not be able to get back to whatever she was trying to live for.
He squeezed her
wrist but she remained silent.
“Suzy…”
The pleading in
his voice affected her tremendously. “No. No, you’re not,” she finally answered.
He playfully
asked, “Then what am I?”
She tilted her
head back to stop the pooling tears in her eyes from spilling some more. When
she finally was able to face him, she saw him smiling and mistook it for
mockery. He found her discomfort amusing. She was just another girl in his life
after all, nothing more. What she gave to him meant nothing and in all these
years, she still meant nothing to him. She was just some stupid girl who
couldn’t resist his good looks.
Defeated, she
answered him. “You’re a…” She paused for a second to steady her voice. “…you’re
a mistake,” she whispered before her eyes blurred.
CHAPTER
9
South Korea, 2001
Sue sat on a
bench, sketch pad in hand and began to sketch. She hadn’t plan on sketching
when she came to the park, but then again she hadn’t planned on coming to the
park at all. It was Saturday and she had been elated about having a weekend
off. No studying, no work, just free time to explore. Sue and her cousin,
Angela, had agreed to spend the weekend exploring the city, doing something
other than visiting shopping malls. But like many weekends before, Angela and
some new friends had gone shopping and Sue had ended up at the park, alone.
They had been in
Seoul for four months and in that time Sue had seen little of the beautiful
country. She was not in the mood to see another shopping mall Angela had
discovered. The excitement of the outdoor market and the brightly neon lit city
only lasted for a month.
When they first
arrived in Seoul, they spent their every free time exploring the areas around
the university. They tried surrounding local cuisines and cheap street foods.
They went to tourist spots but only close to the university.
But she felt
there was something missing. She wanted to see the natural beauty of South Korea
and Angela didn’t. Somehow, Angela usually convinced Sue that going shopping
was much better than seeing the palaces and the pagodas.
They had been in
Seoul since January. It was late May now and all she had been doing was
studying and staying within the city limits with the exception of a weekend
trip to Incheon. Her course load would be lighter for the next couple of months
and she intended to do the things she had planned on her list before she left
South Korea.
She held her
picture up then held it out, turning it from side to side. “Well, maybe with
some more practice the tree will look more like a tree.” She sighed. “You
really need to stop talking to yourself, Sue. It’s not healthy,” she added with
a chuckle.
She was deep in
concentration and didn’t notice the clapping and cheering at first. The noise
of entertained spectators eventually grabbed her attention as she made up her
mind to leave. She heard it very suddenly, as if the universe heard her request
for some kind of entertainment.
Curious, Sue
packed her supplies back into a plastic bag and followed the sound of music.
She recognized the music as Korean hip-hop, the kind that Angela liked to
listen to, but Sue couldn’t make out what the song was about. It was too fast
for her to catch the lyrics. She made her way through the crowd and watched the
performance. She assumed a group was performing by the sound of the music, but
it
falling for him the way she was. Just one look from the man and she went gaga.
Jae took hold of
her wrist and wouldn’t let her leave. “No Lefty?” he asked teasingly.
Sue remained
silent, looking fixedly at a painting that meant nothing to her, yet she was
looking at it as if grabbing for life. As if that painting held her grounded
and if she took her eyes off it, she might float away into darkness where she
might not be able to get back to whatever she was trying to live for.
He squeezed her
wrist but she remained silent.
“Suzy…”
The pleading in
his voice affected her tremendously. “No. No, you’re not,” she finally answered.
He playfully
asked, “Then what am I?”
She tilted her
head back to stop the pooling tears in her eyes from spilling some more. When
she finally was able to face him, she saw him smiling and mistook it for
mockery. He found her discomfort amusing. She was just another girl in his life
after all, nothing more. What she gave to him meant nothing and in all these
years, she still meant nothing to him. She was just some stupid girl who
couldn’t resist his good looks.
Defeated, she
answered him. “You’re a…” She paused for a second to steady her voice. “…you’re
a mistake,” she whispered before her eyes blurred.
CHAPTER
9
South Korea, 2001
Sue sat on a
bench, sketch pad in hand and began to sketch. She hadn’t plan on sketching
when she came to the park, but then again she hadn’t planned on coming to the
park at all. It was Saturday and she had been elated about having a weekend
off. No studying, no work, just free time to explore. Sue and her cousin,
Angela, had agreed to spend the weekend exploring the city, doing something
other than visiting shopping malls. But like many weekends before, Angela and
some new friends had gone shopping and Sue had ended up at the park, alone.
They had been in
Seoul for four months and in that time Sue had seen little of the beautiful
country. She was not in the mood to see another shopping mall Angela had
discovered. The excitement of the outdoor market and the brightly neon lit city
only lasted for a month.
When they first
arrived in Seoul, they spent their every free time exploring the areas around
the university. They tried surrounding local cuisines and cheap street foods.
They went to tourist spots but only close to the university.
But she felt
there was something missing. She wanted to see the natural beauty of South Korea
and Angela didn’t. Somehow, Angela usually convinced Sue that going shopping
was much better than seeing the palaces and the pagodas.
They had been in
Seoul since January. It was late May now and all she had been doing was
studying and staying within the city limits with the exception of a weekend
trip to Incheon. Her course load would be lighter for the next couple of months
and she intended to do the things she had planned on her list before she left
South Korea.
She held her
picture up then held it out, turning it from side to side. “Well, maybe with
some more practice the tree will look more like a tree.” She sighed. “You
really need to stop talking to yourself, Sue. It’s not healthy,” she added with
a chuckle.
She was deep in
concentration and didn’t notice the clapping and cheering at first. The noise
of entertained spectators eventually grabbed her attention as she made up her
mind to leave. She heard it very suddenly, as if the universe heard her request
for some kind of entertainment.
Curious, Sue
packed her supplies back into a plastic bag and followed the sound of music.
She recognized the music as Korean hip-hop, the kind that Angela liked to
listen to, but Sue couldn’t make out what the song was about. It was too fast
for her to catch the lyrics. She made her way through the crowd and watched the
performance. She assumed a group was performing by the sound of the music, but
it
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