and –”
Mr. Bluff nodded, his eyes growing soft and sad. “And you wanted to know if you should go to the funeral.” He propped himself up on the foyer wall, his eyes trained on his daughter’s face. He began rubbing his hands together. It was always his nervous habit. “Well, your mother and I will be going. Since the Brindell family has always been so good to us, and since you and Ben used to be so close, it would be nice if you came with us.”
“That’s what I figured,” she said. “Alright, Dad. I’m going to go home and talk to Blair. But I’ll call you and let you know what I decide, okay?”
Mr. Bluff opened his mouth as if to say something then shut it, undecided. His eyebrows wrinkled with unease. He pushed himself off the wall and walked forward, pulling his daughter into a tight embrace.
“I’m worried about you. You never pick up the phone anymore. I don’t…” He drew in a deep breath. His body was shaking. Starla relaxed in his arms, knowing that he wouldn’t let her pull away just yet. “Just be safe, okay, baby? I love you. And call a little more. I miss hearing from you. I don’t want to lose another daughter.”
“My phone broke, Dad, but I’ll try my hardest. You’re not losing another daughter. I’m right here.”
On the car ride home, she didn’t even turn on the radio. She preferred, instead, to stew in her own thoughts and feelings. It broke her heart to think that she was hurting her parents so much. Losing Lisa was the biggest blow that they had ever faced. For weeks after, maybe even months, it had been difficult for Mrs. Bluff to get out of bed, to shower, to eat. Mr. Bluff had to be the voice of reason. He spent his days trying to help his wife, never focusing on his own depression. Starla knew that her parents tried to be so strong. She felt awful that her relationship with Blair distanced her from them and vowed that, no matter what Blair screamed at her or how hard he hit her, she would go to the funeral.
Blair was in bed when Starla got home, as he was most of the time. He was one of the laziest human beings that Starla had ever met. She walked in the door and was immediately accosted with the stale smell of smoke from his cigarettes, and the dull scent of body odor. Her purse was deposited on the floor by the front entrance, along with her shoes, before she made her way into the bedroom. On the way, though, she grabbed a Dos Equis beer from the fridge as a peace offering. The beer might make him a little less enraged when she made her request.
On the other hand, the beer also made him more suspicious. The minute she placed it into his hand, he immediately started squinting at her, trying to figure out what her game was. She was nice to him all of the time and she took care of him all of the time but something felt wrong.
“What do you want?” he said, an angry undertone in his voice.
Starla plastered the widest smile she could muster on her face. “Baby, Cole Brindell died. That’s Mr. Brindell’s father. Now you know, growing up, my family and his family were very close. I was wondering if you’d let me go to the funeral. As support, you know.”
“Is Ben going to be there?”
“Well,” said Starla, “I heard he might be. But that’s not why I want to go. I really want to support the Brindells. They were basically like a set of second parents to me.”
“If Ben is going to be there, then the answer is no.”
“But baby, my parents asked me to come with them for support. You know I never get to see them anymore. It damn near crushed them losing my sister and now they feel like they’re losing me. I’m not going to talk to Ben. I just want to be there for my family.”
“No.”
Agitation set in. It was very seldom that Starla raised her voice to her boyfriend but in this instance she wanted to make a point. “I’m going to go to the
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