Read Online Magic hour: a novel by Kristin Hannah - Free Book Online

on her breathing until the emotions subsided. By the time the plane landed she was okay again.
    She grabbed her bag from the overhead bin and merged into the line of passengers exiting the plane.
    She was almost to the exit door when it happened.
    One of the flight attendants recognized her. There was no mistaking the signs—the widening of the eyes, the slowly opening mouth. As Julia passed, she heard the woman whisper, “It’s
her.
That doctor. The one who—”
    She kept moving. By the end of the jetway she was almost running. She caught a glimpse of Ellie standing amid the crowd, dressed in her blue uniform, looking stunningly beautiful.
    Julia knew she should stop, say hello and pretend everything was all right. That was the smart thing to do. The
fine
thing.
    She kept moving, running.
    She raced across the crowded concourse hallway toward the ladies’ restroom sign. Ducking in, she disappeared into one of the stalls and slammed the door shut, then sat down on the toilet.
    Calm down, Jules. Breathe.
    “Are you in here, Julia?” Ellie sounded out of breath and irritated.
    Julia released a slow, shaking breath. Having a panic attack was bad; having one in front of her sister was almost unbearable. She got slowly to her feet and opened the door. “I’m here.”
    Ellie put her hands on her hips and stared at her. It was a cop-assessing-the-situation look. “I haven’t seen an airport sprint like that since the O.J. commercials.”
    “I had to go to the bathroom.”
    “You should see a urologist.”
    “It’s not that. I . . .” Julia felt like an idiot. “The flight attendant recognized me. She looked at me as if
I
killed those kids.” She felt her cheeks heat up, knowing she should say more. Explain. But her sister couldn’t understand a thing like this. Ellie was like one of those pioneer wives who could give birth in the field and go back to work. Her sister knew little about being fragile.
    Ellie’s hard look softened. “Fuck ’em all. You can’t let it get to you.”
    Julia wished she could do that, but she’d always needed to be accepted. As a shrink, she knew the hows and whys of her need—how her popular, in-the-spotlight family had somehow made her feel marginalized and unimportant, how her father’s withheld love had made her believe she was unlovable—but knowledge didn’t soften the need. She wasn’t even sure how it had come to matter so much. All she knew was that her profession, her ability to help people, had filled the frightened place inside of her with joy, and now she was scared again. “It’s not that easy for me. You can’t understand.”
    Ellie leaned against the pale green tile wall. “Because you think I’m only slightly smarter than an earthworm or because I have nothing in my life worth losing?”
    Julia wished suddenly that she had a better memory reservoir. Surely there were times when they’d played together, she and Ellie, when they’d counted secrets instead of slights, when laughter had followed their conversations instead of awkward pauses. But if all that had happened, Julia didn’t recall it. What she remembered was being the “smart” sister, the “weird” one who grew too tall in a petite family and wanted things no one else understood. The mushroom in a family of orchids. She’d always been able to say the right things to strangers, but the wrong thing to her sister. She sighed. “Let’s not do this, El.”
    “You’re right. Come on.”
    Before Julia could answer, Ellie headed out of the bathroom. Julia had no choice but to follow.
    At the car—an ugly white Suburban with wood-grain door panels—Ellie stopped at the back door just long enough to toss her purse in, then she strode around to the driver’s side.
    Julia struggled with her suitcase. It took her two tries to stow it. She slammed the back door shut, then went to the passenger side and climbed into the front seat.
    Ellie backed the car out of the stall and headed for the exit.