Read Online Lysistrata by Fletcher Flora - Free Book Online Page B

never known her to show such fortitude before, and I’m convinced that Lysistrata has put her under some kind of spell which induces extraordinary powers of resistance.”
    “I know what you mean. It’s exceedingly frustrating, for a fact. Do you think this business is contagious and will spread generally?”
    “After piecing together some of the idiocies babbled by Calonice after her beating, I concluded that some program of evangelism is actually projected. I doubt, however, that it will go any farther than Lysistrata and Calonice. They are close friends, as we know, and are peculiarly susceptible to each other’s nonsense. You are more experienced in this rebellion by two days than I am, Lycon. Surely you can now suggest a practical way to bring them around.”
    “I have had no luck whatever with Lysistrata and can suggest nothing regarding Calonice.”
    “Have you no plan of action?”
    “Yes, I have. If you want to know the truth, old boy, I plan to leave town as soon as possible.”
    “Really? When?”
    “Tomorrow, perhaps.”
    “Well, now that you have mentioned it, I have had something like that in mind myself. Perhaps our affairs will have returned to normal by the time we come back to Athens again.”
    “Possibly. I have heard that various manias and mental ills will dissipate naturally if left alone and not aggravated by nostrums and ignorant physicians.”
    “Will you return to Pylos?”
    “Yes, to Pylos. And I wish I were there this instant, as a matter of fact, for here comes Cadmus. In my condition, I would rather be kicked three times around the square than to be compelled to listen to his chatter.”
    “Notice how fierce he looks. It seems to me that he is angry about something.”
    And he was. Cadmus was angry. He loped into the lounge with his chiton flapping, bending slightly forward from the waist as if he were about to launch a physical attack and glaring in the most ferocious manner at Lycon.
    “There you are, Lycon,” he said. “I have been looking all over for you.”
    “How are you, Cadmus?”
    “I am not at all well, if you want to know. In fact, I have never before been so upset and positively furious.”
    “That’s an unusual condition for a philosopher, isn’t it? Hasn’t Empedocles taught you how to sustain serenity, as well as how to heal the afflicted with words?”
    “Well, never mind that. I refuse to be distracted in this matter.”
    “What
is
the matter, by the way?”
    “Corruption, that’s the matter! I simply will not tolerate having my wife corrupted by your wife Lysistrata.”
    “Nausica, too?” said Acron.
    “What do you mean?” Cadmus turned toward Acron, his voice skidding upward. “Is it possible that Calonice is also party to this depravity?”
    “Since we are all fools together, I may as well admit that she is.”
    “Monstrous! It’s absolutely monstrous! I tell you that I had the most frightful forebodings of disaster the instant I was told of Lysistrata’s strange behavior. Lycon, it would have been only simple decency on your part to have kept your troubles at home and not go passing them around among your friends.”
    “Well, I’m delighted to have your opinion, Cadmus. My friend Acron has just been abusing me shamefully for something I could in no way help, and now I can see that you expect to do likewise. I ought to warn you, however, that I’m in a state of nerves, which you may understand, and it’s possible that I may lose control of myself and punch you in the eye.”
    Cadmus blinked and took a step backward and appeared to be considering the threat to his person.
    “I may have been unjust in my remarks, Lycon,” he said finally, “but I am quite upset and not wholly responsible. What we must do, rather than to squander our potential in squabbling, is to combine forces in an effort to end this humiliating situation before it spreads to the wives of other unfortunate citizens. I declare, this is something that could become as