She was the girl next door, angelic like to an extent, even the most uncaring person wouldn’t want to cause her pain.
For the first few days I drank myself into an oblivion just so I didn’t call her to apologize. After about the third or fourth day, J.C. showed up. In one of my many drunken talks, I admitted to sleeping with Tegan. I didn’t know what all I said to him that night, but ever since then, he’d been on my case to make this shit right.
And I just fucked it up. Again .
Knowing Marshall and J.C. are waiting to hear how our chat went, or more than likely waiting to rip me a new one for being a dick again, I slip out the side gate. If I wasn’t the bad guy in this situation before, after that talk, I definitely am now.
I didn’t miss her saying my friend, Matthew . The dude isn’t even her boyfriend, I acted on impulse and jealousy both times I’ve mentioned him and he’s just her friend. Just goes to show that Tegan sparks emotions and feelings inside me that I’m not used to or comfortable with.
Stressed out and irritated, I know the two things that will clear my head. I shoot off a quick text to J.C.
Although he wants things between Tegan and me to settle, I know he won’t give me too much shit for the way I acted today. I let him know I’ll be at his place at ten to pick him up. A few beers with one of my best friends is the perfect ending to this fucked up day. And hey, maybe I’ll find someone to take home for the night.
As soon as I walk in my apartment, I dash to my room and change clothes. On my way back to the front door, I grab my leather jacket out of the front closet and switch out keys before leaving again.
It’s a bit cooler than I like when I ride, but it’s needed today. I’m glad I only had a beer at Tessa’s house.
My adoptive dad was the one who introduced me to my love of bikes, he had a couple when I was growing up. His love of bikes rubbed off on me and my younger brother. Working on them became something special that he shared with us. I mean, what teenaged boy isn’t fascinated with motorcycles?
I rode my first one when I was seventeen; my dad taught me to drive one of his old ones. It was my first taste of freedom, and I was instantly addicted.
Within two years, I had my own.
Ever since then, I’ve always had a love for riding. Those eight weeks during boot camp, that was the one thing I missed most, being able to get on my bike and just drive. While others craved a drink or cigarettes, all I wanted was the open road and my bike.
I shouldn’t have been a dick to Tegan today. She wants to be friends so that everything is okay with the group. I get that, I really do, I just don’t understand why I don’t want to be her friend.
Relationships are a no-go for me. However, something inside me is tugging at my brain, screaming at me that I’m wrong in this case.
Two hours later, I pull up under my carport refreshed but still burdened with stress.
Normally, my rides clear up all of the jumbled thoughts in my head—that wasn’t the case today. I found myself questioning my decisions more and more.
Should I have slept with Tegan at all?
Would she have dated me had I asked?
How long will this ‘no relationship’ rule last?
Do I want to end up an eternal bachelor?
The only positive I figured out today, is that I need to get my shit together and apologize to Tegan and the rest of my dysfunctional family for my shit mood lately.
I volunteered to pick up J.C. tonight. The chances of both of us going home in the same vehicle are slim. One or both of us typically finds a nightly companion. However, lately, J.C. has actually been keeping it in his pants. My guess is Jo has something to do with that. But judging by her having a date at Tessa's wedding and his attendance in the pity party at the bar that night, I don't know that they're still an item.
Thinking back now, we looked like a couple of pathetic pussies that night. We both could’ve
For the first few days I drank myself into an oblivion just so I didn’t call her to apologize. After about the third or fourth day, J.C. showed up. In one of my many drunken talks, I admitted to sleeping with Tegan. I didn’t know what all I said to him that night, but ever since then, he’d been on my case to make this shit right.
And I just fucked it up. Again .
Knowing Marshall and J.C. are waiting to hear how our chat went, or more than likely waiting to rip me a new one for being a dick again, I slip out the side gate. If I wasn’t the bad guy in this situation before, after that talk, I definitely am now.
I didn’t miss her saying my friend, Matthew . The dude isn’t even her boyfriend, I acted on impulse and jealousy both times I’ve mentioned him and he’s just her friend. Just goes to show that Tegan sparks emotions and feelings inside me that I’m not used to or comfortable with.
Stressed out and irritated, I know the two things that will clear my head. I shoot off a quick text to J.C.
Although he wants things between Tegan and me to settle, I know he won’t give me too much shit for the way I acted today. I let him know I’ll be at his place at ten to pick him up. A few beers with one of my best friends is the perfect ending to this fucked up day. And hey, maybe I’ll find someone to take home for the night.
As soon as I walk in my apartment, I dash to my room and change clothes. On my way back to the front door, I grab my leather jacket out of the front closet and switch out keys before leaving again.
It’s a bit cooler than I like when I ride, but it’s needed today. I’m glad I only had a beer at Tessa’s house.
My adoptive dad was the one who introduced me to my love of bikes, he had a couple when I was growing up. His love of bikes rubbed off on me and my younger brother. Working on them became something special that he shared with us. I mean, what teenaged boy isn’t fascinated with motorcycles?
I rode my first one when I was seventeen; my dad taught me to drive one of his old ones. It was my first taste of freedom, and I was instantly addicted.
Within two years, I had my own.
Ever since then, I’ve always had a love for riding. Those eight weeks during boot camp, that was the one thing I missed most, being able to get on my bike and just drive. While others craved a drink or cigarettes, all I wanted was the open road and my bike.
I shouldn’t have been a dick to Tegan today. She wants to be friends so that everything is okay with the group. I get that, I really do, I just don’t understand why I don’t want to be her friend.
Relationships are a no-go for me. However, something inside me is tugging at my brain, screaming at me that I’m wrong in this case.
Two hours later, I pull up under my carport refreshed but still burdened with stress.
Normally, my rides clear up all of the jumbled thoughts in my head—that wasn’t the case today. I found myself questioning my decisions more and more.
Should I have slept with Tegan at all?
Would she have dated me had I asked?
How long will this ‘no relationship’ rule last?
Do I want to end up an eternal bachelor?
The only positive I figured out today, is that I need to get my shit together and apologize to Tegan and the rest of my dysfunctional family for my shit mood lately.
I volunteered to pick up J.C. tonight. The chances of both of us going home in the same vehicle are slim. One or both of us typically finds a nightly companion. However, lately, J.C. has actually been keeping it in his pants. My guess is Jo has something to do with that. But judging by her having a date at Tessa's wedding and his attendance in the pity party at the bar that night, I don't know that they're still an item.
Thinking back now, we looked like a couple of pathetic pussies that night. We both could’ve
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