Read Online I Could Go on Singing by John D. MacDonald - Free Book Online
Authors: John D. MacDonald
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shivered. “I’m so awfully tired, David.…” She tried to fight her way back toward casualness. “Who does your flowers? Miss Plimpton?”
David was watching her closely. “Why don’t you sit down, Jenny.”
She wandered over to the drink cabinet and looked at a picture of David in evening dress being presented to the Queen Mother.
“Some sort of a ceremony?”
“I was being given the OBE. One gets it for taking out precisely the right set of tonsils.” She ran her finger along the rim of the picture that was face down, knowing he was watching her carefully. “May I fix a drink?” he asked.
“Thank you, no.” She picked up the picture and turned it over and looked at it. A young boy smiled out at her. The face looked vital and sensitive, much as David might have looked as a boy, she thought. “Why did you hide this from me, David?”
“Hide it? My word, why should I hide it?”
“Oh, David. Really. I saw you turn it face down.”
“Then I must have hidden it.”
There was a gentle knock at the door and Miss Plimpton entered at once, bringing Jenny’s coat. “Excuse me, Mr. Donne, but would you need me for anything further?”
“Nothing more, thank you. I’m sorry, Miss Plimpton. It’s very late and I should have told you you could go. I’ll see Miss Bowman out. How does tomorrow look?”
“The Clinic at 8:30 … the Williams girl … Mrs. Hurleyat 11:45, with X-rays and Major Somerset at 12:15. And of course Miss Spicer in the afternoon.”
“Thank you. Good night, Miss Plimpton.”
“Good night, sir. Good night, Miss Bowman. May I say how much I enjoy your singing?”
“Thank you.”
When the door clicked shut, Jenny put the boy’s picture on the cabinet and looked at him, trying to find some trace of herself in him, possibly around his eyes. “Is he here, David?”
“No. He’s at school. He boards.”
“David. I want to see him.”
“So now, at last, at long last, we come to the point, do we?”
“Please, David, I swear to you I didn’t come here to ask that. I came to see you. I admit that. But now … I have to ask you … please let me see him.”
“I’m sorry. You can’t see him. It’s that simple. You can’t.”
Her own flash of anger startled her. “Why the hell not? Is he invisible? Is he an idiot? Does he have the plague? Is the school on the back of the moon?”
“I’m sorry. It’s impossible.”
She controlled herself. “Impossible is a word I seldom hear, David,” she said quietly.
“I’m sorry it has to come as such a surprise to you.”
“I want to see him!”
“Can’t you comprehend what I’m saying to you? It is
impossible
. That was the agreement. That was the way it was arranged. Surely you remember.”
“Yes. I remember. But do you want to know something? I didn’t know what that word ‘never’ meant. I didn’t know how that word could ache. I guess I thought … hoped …” She walked to the chair that held her coat. “The only real and true thing I ever created in my life … and then I had to let all of them convince me I had to …” She trembled, suddenly close to tears, turned her face away from him and fought them down. “Does he like school?”
“He loves it, actually.”
“Is he clever?”
“Average, I’d judge. Better at Mozart than math.”
“Musical, you mean?”
“Rather odd if he weren’t, don’t you think?”
“Perhaps, but I loathed Mozart.”
“Jenny, you can be proud of him. Be satisfied with that.”
“Let me see him.”
“No.”
“Just once. Please.”
“And then what?”
“Then nothing. I go.”
After a thoughtful moment, David said, “Do believe me, Jenny, when I say I know what this must be costing you. And has cost you. I hoped, for your sake, there would be other children. If I thought it would make anything better for you, I would let you see him. But were you to see him now, it would merely make things that much more difficult … for you.”
She
David was watching her closely. “Why don’t you sit down, Jenny.”
She wandered over to the drink cabinet and looked at a picture of David in evening dress being presented to the Queen Mother.
“Some sort of a ceremony?”
“I was being given the OBE. One gets it for taking out precisely the right set of tonsils.” She ran her finger along the rim of the picture that was face down, knowing he was watching her carefully. “May I fix a drink?” he asked.
“Thank you, no.” She picked up the picture and turned it over and looked at it. A young boy smiled out at her. The face looked vital and sensitive, much as David might have looked as a boy, she thought. “Why did you hide this from me, David?”
“Hide it? My word, why should I hide it?”
“Oh, David. Really. I saw you turn it face down.”
“Then I must have hidden it.”
There was a gentle knock at the door and Miss Plimpton entered at once, bringing Jenny’s coat. “Excuse me, Mr. Donne, but would you need me for anything further?”
“Nothing more, thank you. I’m sorry, Miss Plimpton. It’s very late and I should have told you you could go. I’ll see Miss Bowman out. How does tomorrow look?”
“The Clinic at 8:30 … the Williams girl … Mrs. Hurleyat 11:45, with X-rays and Major Somerset at 12:15. And of course Miss Spicer in the afternoon.”
“Thank you. Good night, Miss Plimpton.”
“Good night, sir. Good night, Miss Bowman. May I say how much I enjoy your singing?”
“Thank you.”
When the door clicked shut, Jenny put the boy’s picture on the cabinet and looked at him, trying to find some trace of herself in him, possibly around his eyes. “Is he here, David?”
“No. He’s at school. He boards.”
“David. I want to see him.”
“So now, at last, at long last, we come to the point, do we?”
“Please, David, I swear to you I didn’t come here to ask that. I came to see you. I admit that. But now … I have to ask you … please let me see him.”
“I’m sorry. You can’t see him. It’s that simple. You can’t.”
Her own flash of anger startled her. “Why the hell not? Is he invisible? Is he an idiot? Does he have the plague? Is the school on the back of the moon?”
“I’m sorry. It’s impossible.”
She controlled herself. “Impossible is a word I seldom hear, David,” she said quietly.
“I’m sorry it has to come as such a surprise to you.”
“I want to see him!”
“Can’t you comprehend what I’m saying to you? It is
impossible
. That was the agreement. That was the way it was arranged. Surely you remember.”
“Yes. I remember. But do you want to know something? I didn’t know what that word ‘never’ meant. I didn’t know how that word could ache. I guess I thought … hoped …” She walked to the chair that held her coat. “The only real and true thing I ever created in my life … and then I had to let all of them convince me I had to …” She trembled, suddenly close to tears, turned her face away from him and fought them down. “Does he like school?”
“He loves it, actually.”
“Is he clever?”
“Average, I’d judge. Better at Mozart than math.”
“Musical, you mean?”
“Rather odd if he weren’t, don’t you think?”
“Perhaps, but I loathed Mozart.”
“Jenny, you can be proud of him. Be satisfied with that.”
“Let me see him.”
“No.”
“Just once. Please.”
“And then what?”
“Then nothing. I go.”
After a thoughtful moment, David said, “Do believe me, Jenny, when I say I know what this must be costing you. And has cost you. I hoped, for your sake, there would be other children. If I thought it would make anything better for you, I would let you see him. But were you to see him now, it would merely make things that much more difficult … for you.”
She
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