Holy Rollers

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Authors: Rob Byrnes
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Lambert.”
    “Too much money,” Mary Beth added as she stood behind the couch, her arms folded across her chest. “Especially for one of Lambert’s dumbass schemes.”
    Grant nodded, deferential to Lisa and again ignoring Mary Beth. “I know it’s a lot of money, but I think you’ll like the rate of return. If this works out…”
    Mary Beth grunted at the “if.”
    “ When this works out, you’ll find it worth your while.” He thought for a moment. “Also, I’m gonna need your real estate connections.”
    “House or apartment?” asked Lisa.
    “Better make it a house,” said Chase, who had been idly looking out a floor-to-ceiling window at the Queensboro Bridge while listening to the conversation. “It’s a ‘house’ kind of community. Plus we’ll need the privacy.”
    “How long?”
    “Like Grant said, four to six weeks. Starting as soon as we can get keys.”
    Lisa sat down on the couch across from Grant, tucking one leg underneath her. “I think you’d better fill me in on the details.”
    Chase stepped away from the window and looked at Grant, who sighed and finally said, “There’s some money in a safe in Virginia. And we plan to get it.”
    She looked at her nails, although that wasn’t really where her attention was.
    “I think you can share a bit more information than that. If we can’t trust each other after all these years…”
    “The safe’s in a church.”
    “Technically, it’s not in the church,” added Chase. “It’s in an administration building, which is near the church.”
    “I don’t know how specific we have to—” Grant began before Lisa cut him off.
    “No, I like specific. You want twenty grand, and I want every specific detail. That seems like a fair trade.” She smiled triumphantly at their silence. “How much money is in that safe?”
    Again, Grant and Chase exchanged glances and held their silence.
    “Okay,” said Lisa, when the standoff passed the thirty-second mark, “if you’re not going to tell me how much money’s involved, I’m not going to bankroll the job.”
    The words tumbled out of Grant’s mouth. “Seven million dollars.”
    Lisa’s eyebrows did a little dance. “ Now you’ve got my attention. Seven million?” Grant and Chase nodded. “If I give you the seed money, my share is one-third.”
    Grant did the math in his head and didn’t like the numbers. Depending on how much cash was actually in the safe, a twenty thou investment could earn her back over two million dollars. Maybe more. That was a ridiculous return for a banker. What he was about to propose was still ridiculous, just slightly less so.
    “I’ll pay you back an even half million. A twenty-five-to-one return on your investment. That’s more than fair.”
    Lisa pulled a cigarette from her pack, lit it, inhaled, exhaled, tapped ash into a glass ashtray stolen decades earlier from the Russian Tea Room, and otherwise left Grant and Chase hanging until she was confident she had the upper hand. All the while, Mary Beth stood behind her, stone-faced.
    Finally, Lisa spoke.
    “Fair? Not the way I see it. I have the money, and you don’t have the money. But you need twenty thou. For all I know, I’m going to be dropping big bills and getting no return. And if something goes wrong, how are you going to pay me back?”
    “Why do you think something will go wrong?”
    “Lambert!” Lisa’s laugh had a hard edge. “I know you. I’m willing to loan you what you need, but I have my terms: one-third.” She took another drag off her cigarette, giving them a few seconds to think it over. “I have to be firm about that.”
    Grant leaned forward in the chair. “But—”
    “Now, if you have another banker…”
    He leaned back again.
    “Didn’t think so.”
    Chase, slightly less disapproving of Lisa’s cut than Grant, asked, “And you can find us a rental, too?”
    “Where in Virginia?”
    “Place called Nash Bog. Up near the Maryland border, ’bout an hour outside

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