the story you would tell me, but I thought you’d be more creative.”
“But it’s fucking true.”
“Part of it may be true, Mr. Lawson. Pathetic, I’m sure. But I don’t want part of the truth, I want all of it.”
He sighed melodramatically, got up again, walked over, suddenly grabbed both my wrists with one hand, and then pinned my arms with his knee and body weight. He smiled at me and brought the hand holding the cigarette up to my face. I started to yell but he shoved his free hand over my mouth. His knee and entire body forcing me into the chair. I struggled. He brought the cigarette to my eyebrow and let the ash singe it. I tried to wriggle away from him, but he was too strong. Strong and obviously a real psycho. He let the cigarette burn me for five agonizing seconds, then he let me go.
I gasped for air.
He stood. He picked up his briefcase, his clipboard.
“I’m flying back to London tonight. It’s not just fucks like you we have to deal with. Other cases, too. That’s why I have no time for your shit. But I’ll be back two weeks from today. Yours is the most interesting. Monday the twenty-second. Keep your appointment book free. It’s a good thing. Give you time to think. You will cooperate or I will shit upon you from a great height. I will destroy your fucking life. I will see you do ten years in Wormwood fucking Scrubs. And they will know that you were a copper. Oh yeah. I will see you fucking broke, you pathetic little shit. I’ll see myself out.”
He walked across the living room, turned, grinned at me, spat, and left.
I leaned back in the chair, got my breath back, tried not to puke. I heard the front door bang. Dad came in.
“What was that all about? Did he touch you? Are you ok?”
“Dad, how much money do you have?” I gasped.
“Nothing. I told you. I used it all for my deposit in the election but I do get it back if I win. Are you ok? What happened?”
“So, in other words, you’ve nothing.”
“Are you in trouble?”
“No, but I might have to go somewhere for a while till the heat cools down.”
“Who was that man, what did he want?”
“A policeman. He wants me to rat on my brother officers.”
“Is he part of that Samson thing? But you’ve done nothing wrong,” Dad said.
“I know, but he’s going to persecute me, I’ve got to go somewhere.”
“Your brother would put you up in London.”
“England’s no good. Besides, he wouldn’t put me up anyway.”
“He would, Alexander. Look, what’s going on?”
I got up and went into the hall. I climbed up into the attic, I felt I was nearly going to cry. I was pathetic. Douglas was right. I stopped myself, found my coat, came back down the ladder.
“Where are you going?” Dad asked.
“Out.”
I knew what I had to do, I had to get to the water. I had to get to my place. Raining again. But I had to get down there. That’s where everything would become clear.
“Where are you going?” Dad insisted.
“Nowhere.”
“Do you want some tea? You have to eat, Alex, you never eat,” Dad said, shaking his head, worried.
“I’ll get something.”
I put on my coat and hat and ran out the door.
Pissing down. Hard. Bouncing off the stones and making lakes on the tar macadam. My wool hat was drenched in a minute. My place. Not going to panic. My place. Close, soon. Yes. Think. Think, man. Maybe John could lend me some money. Maybe Dad would come through. In any case, I had to lie low. Where? My brother and sister, in England. Hardly talked to them since the funeral. We weren’t that close and Mum had been the glue holding the family together. And wasn’t I right? They’d find me.
I shook my head. No. No money for a bus ticket to the airport, never mind an airfare. My left eyebrow hurt, everything hurt. What to do? Keep out of the shit. I could lie low. I had enough ketch for a couple of weeks. I could avoid Spider until then. Yeah, everything be fine. Yeah, all work out somehow. Douglas, looking at
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