Read Online Garbage by Stephen Dixon - Free Book Online

call my bar. I get Hector, one of the two men I asked to stay and say “Anyone there but you?”
    â€œBoo, but you told us not to.”
    â€œI know, but anyone else try and come in or call?”
    â€œNo and it’s getting late and we got to be moving. Even for money it’s not worth staying here anymore—my wife will kill me.”
    â€œOne last favor. I’m in the police station for something I did and am giving my keys to the police to close my place. Stay there till they come. Don’t let anyone but them in and ask for their badges.”
    â€œI don’t ask cops for badges. Question them and you anger and get trouble from them. They got uniforms on, they’re cops. You, I don’t ask what happened less you tell.”
    â€œThanks, but listen. Take all the money out of the cash register and from the cigar box below and tip glass next to the juicer and put it all in one of the brown paper bags there by the coffeemaker.”
    â€œWait a minute. Where’s the coffeemaker?”
    â€œBy the juicer. Double the bags, in fact, as the change will weigh a ton. Leave the nickels if you want and keep the rest on you alone, Hector, not Boo. He’s okay, I’m not saying he’s not and I know he’s your friend. But he’s a little dim, right? and wait till I call you again at home. What’s your number?”
    â€œI don’t even see where’s the juicer and I’m looking.”
    â€œRight by the register. But your phone number.”
    He gives it.
    â€œListen, Hector, I’m putting my faith in you two but you especially. And I’m not saying you’re dishonest by any means, because would I be asking you to do this for me if I was? But I know how much money there is between the register and cigar box. Tip glass probably another few bucks.”
    â€œHow much you think altogether?”
    â€œWhy you asking? Besides, you’ll have plenty of time to count it at home. But there’s twenty in it for you and Boo, ten apiece and okay, for you another five, just for doing this for me.”
    â€œWhat’re you afraid of, cops on the take?”
    â€œA little, yes. They’ve done it with other barowners. They slip in the place because of some minor infraction nobody’s followed for fifty years or an anonymous phone complaint maybe made by them in a disguised voice, and while one’s questioning the bartender, boom, half the register money’s suddenly gone. Where’d it go? ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ they say, ‘you accusing us?’ getting tough.’You yelling corrupt?’ Ah. Maybe, probably the ones who come to close will be clean and great but I can’t take chances, though forget the bottles they might cart away before they return my keys, and the steaks.”
    â€œHow am I to tell Boo you only want me to hold the money? He’s big and already a bit tanked and mean from all the booze he drank.”
    â€œI told you guys only free beer.”
    â€œNot me, him, but you also told us you’d be right back.”
    â€œOkay, wait, let me think. After the police come take the money straight to Kelly’s Bar instead and give it to Kelly to hold.”
    â€œWhat’re you now, all of a sudden don’t trust me?”
    â€œI trust you but Kelly’s always been all right with me and he knows where to hide money, you might not.”
    â€œI got a floorboard in my place for stashing away stuff. And now I told you that you know something about me that nobody else does.”
    â€œI’d still rather have Kelly.”
    â€œYou know, being so all right with people isn’t what I learned about him. Why I don’t go in there and others is he gives change for five dollars too many times when you give him a ten. And how you know he’ll be there?”
    â€œCall him. If he’s not, call me at the 15th Precinct right back. But just take the money if he is which he