Read Online Freakshow by Jaden Wilkes - Free Book Online

solitude for a chance at community.
    My heart was pounding by the time I got to my trailer and unpacked, putting my clothes in my new dresser and closet, and curled up on what was to be my bed until I felt it was time to leave.
    I had done it. I had changed my life for the better. I hoped.
    And there was a little voice in the back of my head whispering that I would be closer to Cairo now, I would be able to spend time near him and see what happened.
    If anything. The dominant voice scoffed at my dreaming and thought I’d be better off worrying about life with a bunch of people I hardly knew. Or the fact that I’d packed it all in to search for a surrogate family.
    Perhaps my biggest worry should be whether or not I had ever fully dealt with the death of my parents and my sister’s subsequent attacks.
    Or Becs’ betrayal. Jason’s cruel words.
    Any of it really.
    Or was I simply pulling a groundhog and diving back in my hole every time the going got rough.
    I heard a tap at my door and said, “It’s open.”
    A pretty blonde girl peeked in and said, “Hi, are you going to be living here now?”
    “I guess,” I replied, “I mean, yes, definitely.”
    “I’m Cara, I work concession. I think we’ve met,” she said with a bright smile.
    “Oh yeah, we have,” I replied, “I’m Liv. I’m at the front doing tickets.”
    “Awesome, well I’m glad you’re here and decided to join us. Any time we have new hires in a city, we’re all pretty much expecting them to bolt the minute we pack it up to leave.”
    “Oh, people do that?” I replied and did my best to sound duly scandalized, hiding my own original intentions to flee.
    “You wouldn’t believe how many,” Cara told me. “And heading into the US, we need everybody on board. It’s tough to hire once we’ve crossed the border.”
    “Well, I wouldn’t think of ditching,” I assured her. “I just had to settle things with my apartment.”
    “Cool. Well, I’m making coffee if you want some. There are three of us in this trailer, you, me and Rose. You’ll meet her soon enough but she’s not a morning person. We all chip in for the basics, like coffee and snacks. Are you okay with that?”
    “I don’t have much until I get paid, can I get you the money in a few days?”
    “Not a problem,” Cara said, “we’ve all been there. I’ll see you in a few.”
    She shut the door and I couldn’t believe my good luck, Cara seemed nice. I’d never had a roommate, other than the month Becs had crashed with me when I moved out here, but this could be nice. Part of my new life, my new community thing.
    Cara and I had a chance for a brief visit before Cara’s shift. I didn’t start work for a few more hours, so I decided to take some time and explore the parts of Cirque I hadn’t seen yet.
    And possibly run into Cairo, if I was being honest.
    A couple of hours later, I’d spent some time with Cara in the staff concession, visited Alexi and his cats, and found myself in the performer’s tent.
    I was watching a man and woman, husband and wife apparently, who could twist themselves into the most elaborate, inhuman shapes imaginable. Contortionists, I’d heard them called. I was sitting in the back, afraid to repeat the knocked chair incident of my previous visit. It was dark, I was alone, and it was vaguely disturbing to watch the things they could do with their bodies.
    I couldn’t help but imagine how their positions would translate sexually. I couldn’t perform such acts myself; one of the detriments of being pain-free was not understanding your limits. I would end up hurting my body without even knowing it.
    A lot of people with my condition ended up in wheelchairs early on, unable to feel the pain of arthritis or joint stress, and eventually unable to walk because their bodies broke down without them knowing it.
    It was a constant fear for me, the idea that I might develop cancer and not know it until it was too late. Not being able to feel the