Read Online Four Times the Trouble by Tara Taylor Quinn - Free Book Online Page A

Ryan.”
    “You were absolutely correct, Ms. Colby. Our time was well spent and I’m glad you talked me into going. I had no idea how much one evening could accomplish.”
    “Those kids were really something, weren’t they?” she asked, getting serious on him all of a sudden.
    Jacob agreed that the kids had been remarkable. Remembering the yearning he’d seen on her face when she’d watched the talent show that evening, he was once again struck with how much she was cheating herself out of as the years rolled by without her.
    “Did you and Brian plan to raise a family?” he asked before he could stop himself. What he needed right then was more distance, not more familiarity.
    “I was six weeks pregnant when he left to go overseas.”
    “You were? But…” She’d said the words so softly Jacob wondered if maybe he’d misunderstood. But as he looked across the table into her pain-filled eyes, he knew he hadn’t. “Oh, Michelle. I’m sorry.”
    She shrugged, looking down at her empty plate.
    Jacob cradled his coffee cup in his palms. “What happened?” he asked.
    “I lost the baby the day after they told me Brian was missing. It was a boy.”
    He could tell she was trying hard not to cry again. She looked up finally, a sad tremulous smile on her lips, and Jacob felt a rush of admiration for her. He was amazed how she could come to work every day, be cheerful and optimistic, when her life had held so much tragedy. Until tonight, he’d had no idea how much.
    “Did Brian know? About the baby, I mean?” he asked.
    She looked down at her diet soda, stirring the near-empty glass with her straw, and shook her head.
    “I wanted to wait until I was completely sure. It was going to be a homecoming surprise.” Her words were little more than a whisper.
    Silence stretched between them as her words hung in the air.
    “How do you do it?” he finally asked. “How do you find so much good in this world when it treats you like it does?”
    She shrugged and looked up at him. “I don’t always find good. But I know it doesn’t help any to focus on the bad. When I lost the baby I almost lost myself, as well. It hurt so badly I didn’t have the strength to get up in the morning. I kept thinking I’d be okay when Brian came home. The loss was as much his as it was mine. He’d be as devastated by it as I was, and together, sharing that, we’d get through it. I didn’t think things could get any worse. But they did.”
    Jacob wished he were someplace he could take her into his arms. “You mean not finding Brian?”
    She shook her head. “No. I was staying with my mom and dad after the miscarriage, and one morning a couple of weeks later, the first time I’d been alone since leaving the hospital, I got a phone call. It was a government official wanting me to identify a corpse that had washed up on the shore of the Gulf of Suez near Cairo. Brian had been staying in Cairo. The body was still intact and they were certain it was Brian. When I hung up the phone I promised myself that if I was spared that—if it wasn’t Brian, if only I could still hope he was alive—I would handle anything else. They brought the body back here, my dad drove me to the airport to meet the plane, I looked into the body bag, and it wasn’t Brian. I’d never been so thankful in my life. I knew then that I had to get a grip on my grieving or it was going to kill me before Brian made it home. Ever since then, I just do what I have to do to get through and look for whatever good I can find to make the waiting easier.”
    “I think you’re a remarkable, woman, Michelle Colby,” Jacob said softly, holding her gaze with his own.
    She looked down. “I’m not really. Sometimes I think maybe I’m just taking the easy way out, doing nothing but waiting. But I just don’t know any other way. So I wait.” She shook her head. “Anyway, I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this, except that tonight I needed a friend and you seemed