Read Online Eaglethorpe Buxton and the Sorceress by Wesley Allison - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Wesley Allison
Tags: Humor, adventure, Fantasy, Fairy Tale, sorcery, Comedy, Sorceress, sword, allison, eaglethorpe buxton, wesley
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above,
Why is it I cannot have love,
Though many years we two are wed,
He does not care if I am dead,
A cold and wintery life is this,
If never falls a wedded bliss,
If he shall never know love true,
Then I forever shall be blue.
(Enter Phoebe)
Phoebe:
Your Majesty. Your royal father has sent you
a gift.
Queen:
What is it?
Phoebe:
This royal locket. It was forged high in the
mountains by the cloud giants for Queen Nepsis of the
Antediluvians. Now it is yours.
Queen:
It is very beautiful. Pity it cannot bring
me love.
Phoebe:
Take heart, Majesty. Love will come for you
someday. You will get what you deserve. Everyone does.
Queen:
You always know what to say, Phoebe. (Exit
Queen)
Phoebe:
It is my duty and my charge, Your Majesty,
to always say the right thing. Even when there is no right thing to
say, I still say it. And who appreciates it? Only the Queen. No one
else. (Exit Phoebe)
(Enter the King)
King:
I am tired of ruling. Perhaps I should give
the city over to a regent and go upon a crusade against the goblins
or the Eskimos.
(More Poetry)
The crown lies heavy on the head,
And chases sleep from out my bed,
The people, nobles-- beggars too,
All count on me. You know it’s true,
And who have I to count upon?
None but those who grovel and faun,
On Myo’s arm I sometimes lean,
Though she has prove she’s quite mean,
For the Prince’s help I would be
pleased,
But his tutors say he’s RPCed,
So I’m alone and feeling weary,
I order all eyes to be teary!
(The king lies down to sleep. Enter Penny,
sneaking. She pours a potion on the king’s head.)
King:
(Waking) What is this? An assassin! (Grabs
Penny) Guards!
Penny:
Alas, I am always being grabbed.
King:
You shall squeal.
Penny:
Like a stuck pig, Your Majesty.
King:
You will spill the beans.
Penny:
Like a rotten gunny-sack, Your Majesty.
King:
You will tell me your master’s name.
Penny:
Like a scared school girl!
(Enter the Queen, wearing the locket and
Phoebe)
King:
(Seeing the Queen) Oh sweet angel. Oh
blessed thing! Oh object of my desires! Where did you come
from?
Queen:
Well, I’ve been here all the time.
King:
Was I so blind that I could not see such a
goddess, such a creation, such a vision?
Queen:
Yes. Yes you were.
King:
Come with me. We will never be apart
again.
(Exit King and Queen)
Phoebe: I must confess that I know not what
to say. (To Penny) You had best come with me.
Penny:
Yes.
(Exit Phoebe and Penny. Enter Myolaena.)
Myolaena:
Here’s one of my pretty plots brought to
ruin by wretched chance. Fear not. I have others. (Exits)
(Enter Waiting Women, who step forward and
deliver their lines as a chorus.)
Waiting Women:
Our dreams have been answered: Hooray for
the Queen,
We’re happier now than we’ve ever been,
No more will we have to mop up her
tears,
We shall sit and enjoy her laughter for
years.
The timing is perfect for this to come
‘bout,
The Prince is grown up and about to move
out,
We are so happy for the Queen we do
love,
And wish that all the world might find
love.
Unfortunately we’re all mired in such
bogs,
Life would be better if men weren’t such
dogs.
(Enter David, Thomas, and Priss)
Priss:
Well, we’ve searched every cave and cavern
in the countryside.
David:
I don’t understand why the dragon wasn’t
there.
Priss:
Perhaps he flew south for the winter.
David:
Sir Drake never mentioned anything about
that at the academy.
Priss:
Perhaps the dragon heard you were coming and
was frightened away.
David:
That’s probably it! And what dragon wouldn’t
be frightened to see us coming?
Priss:
(Steps forward to address the audience with
his poem.)
Oh what fools these humans be,
And they have yet to watch TV,
I’ll be you gold coins to tomatoes,
They turn into old couch potatoes,
They dance like puppets on little
strings,
When I feel the need to stretch my
wings,
And when I feel the need to
Why is it I cannot have love,
Though many years we two are wed,
He does not care if I am dead,
A cold and wintery life is this,
If never falls a wedded bliss,
If he shall never know love true,
Then I forever shall be blue.
(Enter Phoebe)
Phoebe:
Your Majesty. Your royal father has sent you
a gift.
Queen:
What is it?
Phoebe:
This royal locket. It was forged high in the
mountains by the cloud giants for Queen Nepsis of the
Antediluvians. Now it is yours.
Queen:
It is very beautiful. Pity it cannot bring
me love.
Phoebe:
Take heart, Majesty. Love will come for you
someday. You will get what you deserve. Everyone does.
Queen:
You always know what to say, Phoebe. (Exit
Queen)
Phoebe:
It is my duty and my charge, Your Majesty,
to always say the right thing. Even when there is no right thing to
say, I still say it. And who appreciates it? Only the Queen. No one
else. (Exit Phoebe)
(Enter the King)
King:
I am tired of ruling. Perhaps I should give
the city over to a regent and go upon a crusade against the goblins
or the Eskimos.
(More Poetry)
The crown lies heavy on the head,
And chases sleep from out my bed,
The people, nobles-- beggars too,
All count on me. You know it’s true,
And who have I to count upon?
None but those who grovel and faun,
On Myo’s arm I sometimes lean,
Though she has prove she’s quite mean,
For the Prince’s help I would be
pleased,
But his tutors say he’s RPCed,
So I’m alone and feeling weary,
I order all eyes to be teary!
(The king lies down to sleep. Enter Penny,
sneaking. She pours a potion on the king’s head.)
King:
(Waking) What is this? An assassin! (Grabs
Penny) Guards!
Penny:
Alas, I am always being grabbed.
King:
You shall squeal.
Penny:
Like a stuck pig, Your Majesty.
King:
You will spill the beans.
Penny:
Like a rotten gunny-sack, Your Majesty.
King:
You will tell me your master’s name.
Penny:
Like a scared school girl!
(Enter the Queen, wearing the locket and
Phoebe)
King:
(Seeing the Queen) Oh sweet angel. Oh
blessed thing! Oh object of my desires! Where did you come
from?
Queen:
Well, I’ve been here all the time.
King:
Was I so blind that I could not see such a
goddess, such a creation, such a vision?
Queen:
Yes. Yes you were.
King:
Come with me. We will never be apart
again.
(Exit King and Queen)
Phoebe: I must confess that I know not what
to say. (To Penny) You had best come with me.
Penny:
Yes.
(Exit Phoebe and Penny. Enter Myolaena.)
Myolaena:
Here’s one of my pretty plots brought to
ruin by wretched chance. Fear not. I have others. (Exits)
(Enter Waiting Women, who step forward and
deliver their lines as a chorus.)
Waiting Women:
Our dreams have been answered: Hooray for
the Queen,
We’re happier now than we’ve ever been,
No more will we have to mop up her
tears,
We shall sit and enjoy her laughter for
years.
The timing is perfect for this to come
‘bout,
The Prince is grown up and about to move
out,
We are so happy for the Queen we do
love,
And wish that all the world might find
love.
Unfortunately we’re all mired in such
bogs,
Life would be better if men weren’t such
dogs.
(Enter David, Thomas, and Priss)
Priss:
Well, we’ve searched every cave and cavern
in the countryside.
David:
I don’t understand why the dragon wasn’t
there.
Priss:
Perhaps he flew south for the winter.
David:
Sir Drake never mentioned anything about
that at the academy.
Priss:
Perhaps the dragon heard you were coming and
was frightened away.
David:
That’s probably it! And what dragon wouldn’t
be frightened to see us coming?
Priss:
(Steps forward to address the audience with
his poem.)
Oh what fools these humans be,
And they have yet to watch TV,
I’ll be you gold coins to tomatoes,
They turn into old couch potatoes,
They dance like puppets on little
strings,
When I feel the need to stretch my
wings,
And when I feel the need to
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