the man who had just offered her a drink. There was a world of men like that out there, that she had no interest in and nothing in common with, even if they were nice guys. She didn’t want a nice guy, she wanted Bill, even if their marriage hadn’t been perfect. He was familiar, and she always felt safe with him at her side. Now she felt vulnerable and scared. For the first time since he died, she wasn’t angry at him, just sad.
She sat there for a long time, and then undressed to go to bed. She noticed on her cell phone that Louise had called. She hadn’t heard the phone ring while she was in the casino, and it was too late to call her now. It was four in the morning in New York. Jean had called too, probably to make sure she had gotten home okay. She would call her back in the morning, and wondered what to say to her, that she had spent the night in Las Vegas? Jean would think she had lost her mind, and maybe she had, but in a good way. And even the final incident of the offered drink was harmless enough. Stephanie had proven she could take care of herself, even in an unfamiliar place. She was tired as she got into bed, but it had been a good day, and had been an adventure she hadn’t expected. She tried not to think of Bill as she turned off the lights after she brushed her teeth and washed her face. And that night she dreamed of the man in the elevator who had offered her the drink, and wondered what would have happened if she had said yes.
—
The sun was streaming into the suite when she woke up at nine o’clock, looked around the unfamiliar bedroom, and remembered where she was. She smiled to herself as she thought about what she’d done. Coming to Las Vegas had been a crazy thing to do, but she was glad she had. She hopped out of bed and looked at the incredible view again. Beyond the strip and the bright lights that were lit and flashing even in the daytime, she could see the desert. Las Vegas looked like a mirage, which made her think of something she had wanted to do for years, and never had. She and Bill had always talked about going to the Grand Canyon one day, with the kids, but never got around to it, and she knew it wasn’t far away. She wondered if that was part of the odyssey for her now, doing all the things they had promised they would do and never had.
She showered and dressed, and went downstairs to have breakfast at Tableau, the private breakfast restaurant in the tower. She was still thinking about going to the Grand Canyon, which she thought was a few hours away. She was packed and ready to leave at ten, and checked out of the hotel. The desk clerk asked her if she’d been satisfied with her stay, and the suite, and she said she’d been thrilled, which was true. She put her bag in the car, and drove to one of the shopping malls, and by eleven she had done everything she wanted to do. She had bought a pair of shoes at Gucci, sexy black sandals with stiletto heels, a sweater, and a pair of ridiculously expensive but great-looking jeans. She put her trophies of her freedom trip in the car, and thought about heading home. She had no reason to stay, and nothing to do here, but she didn’t want to go back to San Francisco either. She had even less to do there, except her volunteer work at the facility for homeless kids, but they didn’t need her that week, so she was in no rush to leave. Her life was a long empty road stretching ahead of her, and aside from occasional phone calls with her kids, no one needed or wanted her. She couldn’t bear the thought of going home to the empty house, and thought about the Grand Canyon again.
She stopped at a gas station on the way out of town and inquired how far it was, and the woman at the cashier desk told her it was about four hours away and added that it was worth the trip.
“My husband and I go every year,” she volunteered. “It’s the most beautiful place on earth. One of God’s wonders.” She pointed to a map on the counter as Stephanie
She sat there for a long time, and then undressed to go to bed. She noticed on her cell phone that Louise had called. She hadn’t heard the phone ring while she was in the casino, and it was too late to call her now. It was four in the morning in New York. Jean had called too, probably to make sure she had gotten home okay. She would call her back in the morning, and wondered what to say to her, that she had spent the night in Las Vegas? Jean would think she had lost her mind, and maybe she had, but in a good way. And even the final incident of the offered drink was harmless enough. Stephanie had proven she could take care of herself, even in an unfamiliar place. She was tired as she got into bed, but it had been a good day, and had been an adventure she hadn’t expected. She tried not to think of Bill as she turned off the lights after she brushed her teeth and washed her face. And that night she dreamed of the man in the elevator who had offered her the drink, and wondered what would have happened if she had said yes.
—
The sun was streaming into the suite when she woke up at nine o’clock, looked around the unfamiliar bedroom, and remembered where she was. She smiled to herself as she thought about what she’d done. Coming to Las Vegas had been a crazy thing to do, but she was glad she had. She hopped out of bed and looked at the incredible view again. Beyond the strip and the bright lights that were lit and flashing even in the daytime, she could see the desert. Las Vegas looked like a mirage, which made her think of something she had wanted to do for years, and never had. She and Bill had always talked about going to the Grand Canyon one day, with the kids, but never got around to it, and she knew it wasn’t far away. She wondered if that was part of the odyssey for her now, doing all the things they had promised they would do and never had.
She showered and dressed, and went downstairs to have breakfast at Tableau, the private breakfast restaurant in the tower. She was still thinking about going to the Grand Canyon, which she thought was a few hours away. She was packed and ready to leave at ten, and checked out of the hotel. The desk clerk asked her if she’d been satisfied with her stay, and the suite, and she said she’d been thrilled, which was true. She put her bag in the car, and drove to one of the shopping malls, and by eleven she had done everything she wanted to do. She had bought a pair of shoes at Gucci, sexy black sandals with stiletto heels, a sweater, and a pair of ridiculously expensive but great-looking jeans. She put her trophies of her freedom trip in the car, and thought about heading home. She had no reason to stay, and nothing to do here, but she didn’t want to go back to San Francisco either. She had even less to do there, except her volunteer work at the facility for homeless kids, but they didn’t need her that week, so she was in no rush to leave. Her life was a long empty road stretching ahead of her, and aside from occasional phone calls with her kids, no one needed or wanted her. She couldn’t bear the thought of going home to the empty house, and thought about the Grand Canyon again.
She stopped at a gas station on the way out of town and inquired how far it was, and the woman at the cashier desk told her it was about four hours away and added that it was worth the trip.
“My husband and I go every year,” she volunteered. “It’s the most beautiful place on earth. One of God’s wonders.” She pointed to a map on the counter as Stephanie
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