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Authors: Jennifer Foor
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he came to stay with us, but after a few years, we redecorated his room and he stuck it in his closet. I didn’t even know he remembered where it was.
I sat down on the bed and held the picture in my hands, just tracing the photograph. It was hard to imagine what Noah was going through. I was raised by my parents who were still living. Who knew how much of his mother Noah could remember, but it was obviously bothering him.
I hated that I was the cause. More than anything in the world, I wanted to be able to solve any problem for my children. This wasn’t just about his uncle visiting. No, he’d stirred something up in Noah’s mind and now the child was all broken up over it.
No matter how much I wanted to fix things for Noah, I knew that I was the last person to be able to do it. It made me feel left out, among other things. When it was all said and done, as much as I wanted to be Noah’s mother, I would never be able to fill those shoes completely.
Once I was home, and had all of my morning duties completed, I filled up the large soaking tub with hot water and bubbles and sank down in it. I didn’t want anyone thinking that I wanted their sympathy. One could only hope that this was just a reaction that Noah was having after overhearing his father’s words. I had every inclination that it was all just going to blow over.
Colt didn’t come in until after one in the afternoon, which was late for him. I could tell from the way he was slamming cabinets that his day wasn’t going the way he wanted it to . I avoided approaching him as I headed in to grab an apple.
He sat down and started eating a sandwich, looking at me, but saying nothing.
I sat across from him and took a bite of my apple. We’d played this silent game before. When he was ready, he would spill and I would be there to listen.
I’d almost finished eating the piece of fruit when he sighed and took his last bite. “ The damn main motor went up in the east side chicken house overnight. I had to call in the fuckin’ neighbors to help clean the mess. This is the second time that the alarm didn’t sound when this happened. You need to get on the phone with that damn manufacturer and raise hell. They need to come out and give me a new one. I can’t have losses like this. Are they goin’ to pay for me to replace the dead chickens that I’m goin’ to have?”
Colt had paid an arm and a leg for the to p of the line alarm system to be installed in all of the chicken houses. If there was anything that went wrong, he would get a text message or even a call. For this to have happened and him not know that it had, wasn’t a good thing. The fact that I had to make the call, wasn’t a good thing either.
It was just one of those days where you wake up and know it’s going to be a bad day. “I’ll take care of it.”
He stood up and stuck his plate in the sink. “Get that frown off your face, Savanna. I can’t deal with that shit right now.”
I got up and walked out of the kitchen before I could say something to start a huge fight. Col t was a good man, a great father and usually a perfect husband. Unfortunately, he’d always been one to hold in his anger until he’d finally explode. The exploding almost always happened when he was around me.
I used to take it so personal, thinking it was my fault, but through the years, I’d learned to just ignore him, no matter how much it bothered me.
I went ahead and called the company, like Colt requested. Then I headed up to Noah’s room again. As soon as I walked in, I could just feel the tension between us again. I started putting away his clothes, hoping to get done and get out before I started to cry again. I got that everyone thought this was just something Noah was going through, but it didn’t make it any less hurtful.
When I opened his sock drawer and saw the marble notebook, I thought about leaving it be. I shouldn’t have been so nosey, considering I was trying to be a great parent. It
I sat down on the bed and held the picture in my hands, just tracing the photograph. It was hard to imagine what Noah was going through. I was raised by my parents who were still living. Who knew how much of his mother Noah could remember, but it was obviously bothering him.
I hated that I was the cause. More than anything in the world, I wanted to be able to solve any problem for my children. This wasn’t just about his uncle visiting. No, he’d stirred something up in Noah’s mind and now the child was all broken up over it.
No matter how much I wanted to fix things for Noah, I knew that I was the last person to be able to do it. It made me feel left out, among other things. When it was all said and done, as much as I wanted to be Noah’s mother, I would never be able to fill those shoes completely.
Once I was home, and had all of my morning duties completed, I filled up the large soaking tub with hot water and bubbles and sank down in it. I didn’t want anyone thinking that I wanted their sympathy. One could only hope that this was just a reaction that Noah was having after overhearing his father’s words. I had every inclination that it was all just going to blow over.
Colt didn’t come in until after one in the afternoon, which was late for him. I could tell from the way he was slamming cabinets that his day wasn’t going the way he wanted it to . I avoided approaching him as I headed in to grab an apple.
He sat down and started eating a sandwich, looking at me, but saying nothing.
I sat across from him and took a bite of my apple. We’d played this silent game before. When he was ready, he would spill and I would be there to listen.
I’d almost finished eating the piece of fruit when he sighed and took his last bite. “ The damn main motor went up in the east side chicken house overnight. I had to call in the fuckin’ neighbors to help clean the mess. This is the second time that the alarm didn’t sound when this happened. You need to get on the phone with that damn manufacturer and raise hell. They need to come out and give me a new one. I can’t have losses like this. Are they goin’ to pay for me to replace the dead chickens that I’m goin’ to have?”
Colt had paid an arm and a leg for the to p of the line alarm system to be installed in all of the chicken houses. If there was anything that went wrong, he would get a text message or even a call. For this to have happened and him not know that it had, wasn’t a good thing. The fact that I had to make the call, wasn’t a good thing either.
It was just one of those days where you wake up and know it’s going to be a bad day. “I’ll take care of it.”
He stood up and stuck his plate in the sink. “Get that frown off your face, Savanna. I can’t deal with that shit right now.”
I got up and walked out of the kitchen before I could say something to start a huge fight. Col t was a good man, a great father and usually a perfect husband. Unfortunately, he’d always been one to hold in his anger until he’d finally explode. The exploding almost always happened when he was around me.
I used to take it so personal, thinking it was my fault, but through the years, I’d learned to just ignore him, no matter how much it bothered me.
I went ahead and called the company, like Colt requested. Then I headed up to Noah’s room again. As soon as I walked in, I could just feel the tension between us again. I started putting away his clothes, hoping to get done and get out before I started to cry again. I got that everyone thought this was just something Noah was going through, but it didn’t make it any less hurtful.
When I opened his sock drawer and saw the marble notebook, I thought about leaving it be. I shouldn’t have been so nosey, considering I was trying to be a great parent. It
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