Read Online Before I Say Good-Bye by Mary Higgins Clark - Free Book Online
Authors: Mary Higgins Clark
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ocean liner—although, in truth, she was never completely comfortable there—she just could not stand to be on a smaller boat, where the feeling of the undulating water made her relive the certainty that she was going to drown.
But Adam loved boats, loved being on them. In a way, what could have been a problem became a plus for us, Nell thought. So many weekends, when Mac wanted me to go to political affairs with him, or when Ineeded to work on my column, Adam would go sailing or fishing.
And then he would come home, and I would come home, and we’d be together. Compromises and accommodations, she thought again. We would have worked it out.
Nell turned off the living room lights and went into the bedroom. I wish I could feel something, she thought. I wish I could cry or grieve. Instead, I feel like all I can do is wait.
But wait for what? Wait for whom?
She undressed, taking care to hang up the green silk Escada pants suit she had been wearing. It was new. When it was delivered, Adam had opened the box, taken it out of the tissue and examined it carefully. “That’s gotta be great on you, Nell,” he had said.
She had worn it tonight because in her heart she’d been hoping that he would feel as rotten about the quarrel as she did and would join them, even if only in time for dessert. She had visualized him coming in just as they brought over the spun-sugar confection topped by a candle that was a birthday tradition at the Four Seasons.
But, of course, Adam didn’t come. I’d like to think he was planning to join us, Nell thought as she took a cotton nightgown from the drawer. Automatically, she washed her face and brushed her teeth. The image she saw in the bathroom mirror was that of a stranger, a pale woman with wide, blank eyes and dark chestnut hair that framed her face in damp ringlets.
Was it too warm in here? she wondered, noticing the perspiration on her forehead. If so, then why did she feel so cold? She got into bed.
Last night she hadn’t expected Adam to come home from Philadelphia, and when she heard his key, she hadn’t even acknowledged his presence. I was so reluctant to get into a discussion about running for Mac’s old seat that I pretended I wasn’t awake, Nell thought, angry with herself again.
Then, after he fell asleep, he had thrown his arm over her and had murmured her name. Now she said his aloud: “Adam. Adam. I love you. Please come back!”
She waited. The faint hum of the air conditioner and the wail of a police siren were the only sounds she could make out.
Then in the distance she heard the screeching cry of an ambulance.
There must have been police boats and ambulances at the marina, she reasoned. They had looked for survivors, although Detective Brennan had reluctantly explained that it would have been more than a miracle if there were any. “It’s like most plane crashes,” he had explained. “A plane usually disintegrates on the way down. We know there’s no hope for anyone to live through such an occurrence, but we have to give it a shot.”
Tomorrow, or at least in the next few days, they should be able to piece together the exact reason the boat exploded. “It was a new boat,” Brennan had said. “They’ll look for a mechanical problem, a fuel leak, something like that.”
“Adam, I’m sorry.” Again Nell spoke quietly into the darkened room. “Please, somehow let me know that you can hear me. Mom and Daddy said good-bye to me. So did Grammy.”
It had been one of her earliest memories. She’d been only four when her grandmother died. Her mother and father had been teaching at a seminar in Oxford, and she with her au pair had been staying in Mac’s house. Her grandmother was in the hospital. During the night, Nell had awakened and smelled her grandmother’s favorite scent, Arpège. She wore it just about all the time.
I remember it so well, Nell thought. I was very sleepy, but I remember thinking how glad I was that Grammy was home and that she
But Adam loved boats, loved being on them. In a way, what could have been a problem became a plus for us, Nell thought. So many weekends, when Mac wanted me to go to political affairs with him, or when Ineeded to work on my column, Adam would go sailing or fishing.
And then he would come home, and I would come home, and we’d be together. Compromises and accommodations, she thought again. We would have worked it out.
Nell turned off the living room lights and went into the bedroom. I wish I could feel something, she thought. I wish I could cry or grieve. Instead, I feel like all I can do is wait.
But wait for what? Wait for whom?
She undressed, taking care to hang up the green silk Escada pants suit she had been wearing. It was new. When it was delivered, Adam had opened the box, taken it out of the tissue and examined it carefully. “That’s gotta be great on you, Nell,” he had said.
She had worn it tonight because in her heart she’d been hoping that he would feel as rotten about the quarrel as she did and would join them, even if only in time for dessert. She had visualized him coming in just as they brought over the spun-sugar confection topped by a candle that was a birthday tradition at the Four Seasons.
But, of course, Adam didn’t come. I’d like to think he was planning to join us, Nell thought as she took a cotton nightgown from the drawer. Automatically, she washed her face and brushed her teeth. The image she saw in the bathroom mirror was that of a stranger, a pale woman with wide, blank eyes and dark chestnut hair that framed her face in damp ringlets.
Was it too warm in here? she wondered, noticing the perspiration on her forehead. If so, then why did she feel so cold? She got into bed.
Last night she hadn’t expected Adam to come home from Philadelphia, and when she heard his key, she hadn’t even acknowledged his presence. I was so reluctant to get into a discussion about running for Mac’s old seat that I pretended I wasn’t awake, Nell thought, angry with herself again.
Then, after he fell asleep, he had thrown his arm over her and had murmured her name. Now she said his aloud: “Adam. Adam. I love you. Please come back!”
She waited. The faint hum of the air conditioner and the wail of a police siren were the only sounds she could make out.
Then in the distance she heard the screeching cry of an ambulance.
There must have been police boats and ambulances at the marina, she reasoned. They had looked for survivors, although Detective Brennan had reluctantly explained that it would have been more than a miracle if there were any. “It’s like most plane crashes,” he had explained. “A plane usually disintegrates on the way down. We know there’s no hope for anyone to live through such an occurrence, but we have to give it a shot.”
Tomorrow, or at least in the next few days, they should be able to piece together the exact reason the boat exploded. “It was a new boat,” Brennan had said. “They’ll look for a mechanical problem, a fuel leak, something like that.”
“Adam, I’m sorry.” Again Nell spoke quietly into the darkened room. “Please, somehow let me know that you can hear me. Mom and Daddy said good-bye to me. So did Grammy.”
It had been one of her earliest memories. She’d been only four when her grandmother died. Her mother and father had been teaching at a seminar in Oxford, and she with her au pair had been staying in Mac’s house. Her grandmother was in the hospital. During the night, Nell had awakened and smelled her grandmother’s favorite scent, Arpège. She wore it just about all the time.
I remember it so well, Nell thought. I was very sleepy, but I remember thinking how glad I was that Grammy was home and that she
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