Read Online Before I Break by Portia Moore - Free Book Online Page B

without a moment’s notice and screw me royally, I can’t. The faster I can get things in order, the less damage I can make sure he does.
    I get to do all of his damage control. I have to, and that’s what pisses me off. Things can work out, at least I know. Not knowing was the worst part and as scary as it is, today I don’t seem so out of control like I did when I first found out. I’ve faced some stressful issues to say the least, but my headaches haven’t made an appearance once, and I’m keeping track of time. I don’t know where I stand with Jenna, but now she knows the truth. All I have left to do now is face Lauren.
    I thought I’ d be more nervous about telling Jenna that I had a child than meeting her, but standing outside of her hotel room right now, I know I was wrong big time. My palms are sweaty, my heart’s beating too fast, and my stomach feels like it’s in a canoe on the ocean. With Jenna, I know what to expect. She goes from stoic to flying off the handle in seconds. Lauren, I know nothing about and the fact she knows me as this man, one whose ass I want to kick, doesn’t help.
    I’ ve started to knock on the door several times, but I haven’t managed to do it. I have no clue what she’s going to do when she opens the door. If she’s going to slap me, hug me, or kick me in the balls. I know my parents told her about my condition, but who’s to say if she believes it. My parents did lie to her and left her in the dark. She’s the one person who was screwed over more than me in all this, and she’s had a kid to deal with in the midst of everything. Then the fact that she knows me as him . I move my fist to the door one more time, and this time manage to knock. I hear the TV on and then footsteps approach the door. I stuff my hands in my jean pockets. Whatever she does or says, I deserve it. Cal’s not here to deal with her wrath so just like everything else, I will. Hopefully when she’s done, we can try to come up with some way to make this work out for her. For our daughter.
    “I don’ t need...” she says as the door swings open. She definitely isn’t expecting me, and the expression on her face shows it once she sees me. Her eyes are wide and her mouth has fallen open. She’s not moving, like she’s frozen except her hand on the door knob. It’s shaking.
    “Hi, ” I say quietly, forcing sound out of my throat. It’s dry as a dessert. My words wake her from her frozen state because she’s slammed the door right in my face. I scratch my head. I didn’t expect that.
    “I’m sorry for coming like this. I—I just thought… I can come back later when you’re ready.” My voice is shaky and nervous. I shouldn’t have surprised her like this. I’ll wait for her to come when she’s ready. I turn around to leave when I hear the door open.
    “No!” she says frantically. She gives me a nervous smile, moving her hair out of her face. I approach her slowly. The sun is bright, shining through the hallway window causing her hazel eyes to sparkle. She looks tired, her eyelids puffy, but she’s still beautiful. The kind of beautiful that makes you intimidated. At least she’s about a foot shorter than me. I can have an excuse to stare over her head instead of at her.
    “My parents said you were coming tomorrow but… I thought we… I wanted to talk to you alone if it’s okay?” I say, bumbling like an idiot. She looks at me curiously. She opens her mouth as if she’s going to say something, but doesn’t. Instead she steps back and gestures for me to come in. I stuff my hands in my jeans as I walk into the hotel room. There’s a bed, a TV , sofa, and a mini fridge. Tissues are scattered on the nightstand, a glass of water next to the tissues. She closes the door and walks over to the sofa but doesn’t sit. She’s looking at the ground, as she folds her arms across her chest. This is a good start, I guess. She hasn’t hit me or started yelling. She’s shifting her weight