Read Online Before I Break by Portia Moore - Free Book Online Page A

honest people I know,” she says, sitting next to me.
    “ Even though you can be a big baby sometimes,” she chuckles, and I do too...baby. Ugh. I glance over at her, her shades now back on.
    “ I’m going down to school early to study for my exam tomorrow,”she says . “I was going to stay the night with Kaylie, but I can come back instead,” she continues, and I rub the back of my neck.
    How do I say this? I have to tell her. I can’t hide this from her. What’s the best way to say it? I know she wouldn’t want a long drawn-out speech. She’s standing up, I do the same. She wraps her arms around me, what do I say? I lift her up by the waist and hold her close, like it’s the last time. I’m 90 percent sure this will be the last time I’ll ever get to hold her like this.
    “Chris, we’re going to make this work. We’ re going to find you the best doctors and support groups, and we’ll get through this. At least we know now what we’re dealing with. This marriage can’t be legal,” she says confidently. I set her down, and she cups my face in her hands. This is why I love her. She’s able to pull me out of my pity party.
    When I met Jenna , it was on the way from a visit with my mom’s doctor, and the news wasn’t good. Everyone had been coddling and walking on egg shells around me with everything thing that was going on. Even Lisa couldn’t break through, but Jenna was able to. I look away from her, and I just let it spill out.
    “Lauren. She has…” H er eyebrows raise. I know the next sentence out of my mouth is going to change everything.
    “Sh e has a daughter.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, her eyes widen and mouth falls open. Her expression is blank, completely blank, but she releases my face from her hands and steps back.
    “What?” she asks, and her voice breaks . “No.” She covers her face, her expression crumbling.
    “Is…i s she yours?” she asks me,her voice stabling. I look away from her . “Oh. I’m sorry! Is she Cal’s?” she says, using air quotes.
    “I’m sorry.” I know it doesn’ t help, but I am. It’s the only thing I know to say to her.
    “ Of course you are,” she says, nodding her head.
    “But I can’t be mad at you, right ? Because it wasn’t you or it was you!” She starts to laugh but tears are streaming down her face.
    “I—I just can’t deal with this right now.” She covers her face and begins shaking her hand . “I’ve got to go.” She walks past me towards her car.
    “Jenna, talk to me!” I grab her wrist, and she snatches it away. In an instant, her right hand finds the side of my face. The sting of the slap doesn’t even distract me from the hurt in her eyes.
    “I’m sorry,” she says immediately afterwards.
    “ I need time. Just give me some time,” she says, her gaze locked with mine for only a second before she turns away from me, gets in her car, and speeds away.

 
    Chapter 5
     
    The meeting with Jenna wa s an absolute disaster. Granted, I should have had something more to say than, “Hey, the girl you met earlier has a kid, and chances are, it’s mine,” or something like that.
    Something profound and meaningful , but that’s never really been my thing. I try to be honest no matter how much it hurts in the least hurtful way possible, if that makes any sense. Still, I could have done more than stand there looking like an idiot and blurt it out like that. I should be thankful. It could have been worse. She still has the ring and hasn’t officially ended our engagement. She’s asked for time, but time isn’t a luxury that I’ve had much of, most of it disappears in seconds.
    I wish I had more time to figure this out, but it just keeps ticking by, second by second, and after yesterday I’ve decided I won’t waste it anymore without getting things done, making things right, or at least trying to. As much as I want to block the thought out of my mind that my body is shared with a person who can show up