Victoria came out and helped me get my things. Sheâd been unfailingly polite to my parents while Iâd packed without really speaking. But I thought Iâd gotten everything.
âThey werenât in our way, Rachel.â Mom stands back to let me in, but her voice is tight. âI just thought you might want them. Why not display them in your office?â
Right. Then people will say, âOh, I remember you back then. Didnât you disappear from Shady Grove in the middle of your senior year? Whereâd you go anyway?â
âThanks.â
Mom leads the way down the hall to my old bedroom andmotions to a big cardboard box on the bed.
âOh wow. There are a lot of them. I didnât remember.â
âHorses were your first love.â
I nod and pick up one of the trophies. Sheâs right. I was crazy about horses above all else. Until the first night I saw Brett Meeks. Then the horses and horse shows quickly became a means to an end. In my daydreams, Brett would be desperate to know my name but too shy to ask. Then Iâd win, my name would be announced, and heâd know.
I pick up a few snapshots lying loose in the box, and my mouth twists into a bittersweet smile. Other than a few lines in my face and a lot more wisdom, I havenât changed much. At sixteen, almost seventeen, even though I was far from the anorexic shape that was so in fashion back then, I wasnât at all overweight, and itâs hard to believe I thought I was fat. But I did. I fixed my hair a hundred different ways that summer and even wore blush, hoping for the illusion of cheekbones.
My gaze falls on a faded navy blue bandanna in the corner of the box. When I see it, I know why this box was in the attic and not with the rest of my stuff. My mind flashes back to the day I packed all my barrel-racing stuff away and took it up to the attic. Where it had stayed until now.
B ad memories?â
I stuff the bandanna deep under the mass of trophies and spin around. Mom is still standing in the door, her eyes suspiciously moist. I nod. âMostly. Itâs never pleasant to remember how foolishly I acted.â And how much you and Dad hated me for it.
âI wish. . .â
I want to hear what she wishes, but at the same time Iâm afraid to. I turn back toward the box and slide the photos into it. âThe past is the past. Iâll keep the trophies and throw the rest away at home.â
âYes. Looking forward is always best, I guess,â she says, and I hear her shoes clicking down the hallway.
I donât see her when I carry the stuff out to my car, but Jackâs truck turns into the drive, and he, Dad, and Jenn climb out.
It hits me that Dad must have walked over to Jackâs place. I feel bad he and Jenn had to ask Jack for a ride home. I open my mouth to apologize, although it wouldnât have hurt Dad to tell me that he was depending on me to bring them home. But before I can say anything, Jack rushes across the yard to takethe box from my arms. Unless I want to wrestle him to the ground for it, I have no choice but to let him have it.
âAunt Rach,â Jenn yells. âYou should have seen Jack ride the bull. He stayed on until the buzzer went off, and then he jumped off. Twister almost stepped on him.â
âCool,â I call to her then glance at Jack. âCouldnât bear to âjumpâ off without qualifying, huh?â I ask softly, referring to the eight seconds that makes a successful bull ride.
He shrugs as well as he can with the box in his hands. âNo sense in bruising my body and my pride.â
I lead the way out to my car and open the back door. âThanks,â I say as he sets it on my backseat.
âNo problem.â He nods toward the trophies. âWow. Iâd almost forgotten what a barrel-racing champion you were.â
âI guess. Back in the day.â I try to laugh.
He closes the car door and turns to
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