his thoughts from wandering forward a few hours to what seeing Zane again would do to him. He hadn’t seen the younger man since the night he’d jerked off to the fantasy of a lust-filled Zane giving him a blowjob. And then, while in the shower shortly thereafter, losing his shit again to the even rawer vision of Zane crying out with pleasure as Noah pounded his cock into the man’s ass.
Stop it! Noah reminded himself that even though he would see Zane in a few hours, he would have his son with him and Zane would have his brother and sister too. It was inappropriate to have such full-bodied sexual fantasies about Zane at all; to allow them to fester in his consciousness while in the presence of three children was unacceptable. Beyond that , Noah reminded himself, you have another date with Ram next week. You need to start thinking of ways to make that evening a success, not ways to sabotage it before it starts.
Noah had given Ram such a detailed description of his evening fixing a sink and cleaning a kitchen that at a certain point the man had barked with laughter through the phone and said, “Okay, all right, enough. I believe you. You weren’t trying to ditch me on our date.” After Noah had promised, “No, I wasn’t,” Ram had murmured, “So, would you like to try again?” Noah had said he would, and they’d agreed to a night and time to get together. Noah just had to keep his focus on next Friday evening and steer clear of daydreams and porn featuring young, dark-haired men. He needed no more reminders of Zane Halliday than necessary, if for no other reason than that Noah craved a return to his usual relaxed state of living. He’d had such while married and living with his family, but it was something he feared he would never get back in this new life.
Just then the best possible cure for Noah’s mood swings burst out of the front door and ran toward him at the speed of light, shouting, “Dad! You’re here!” and then barreled into Noah and wrapped his arms around his waist.
Joy and light instantly filled Noah, practically lifting him off the ground. “Hey, Matthew.” He squeezed his kid and pressed a kiss to the top of his blond locks. “How’s my boy?”
After drawing back, Matthew said, “It’s Matt now, Dad. I don’t like Matthew anymore.”
Noah crossed his arms and studied his son with a deadly serious eye. “Matt it is,” he replied. “I like it. It makes you sound at least seventeen.”
Mimicking Noah, Matt crossed his arms against his chest too. “Daaaadddd.”
“Okay,” with a critical stare, Noah pretended to reconsider, “at least fifteen and a half.”
Matt rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He gave Noah one more quick hug. “I’ll go wait in the car.”
“In the truck, kiddo,” Noah corrected, watching his son as the boy—still all arms and legs—ran toward the sidewalk. “It’s unlocked. Strap yourself in the front seat.”
As Noah watched Matt climb in the passenger side, a slender, familiar presence appeared at his right.
“Where’s the Accord?” Janice asked.
“Hey, honey.” Biting his tongue as soon as the endearment left his lips, Noah muttered, “Sorry. Hard habit to break.”
“It’s all right.” With a nudge against Noah’s arm, Janice then jerked her shoulder toward the street. “What’s with the truck? Did something happen to the car?”
The image of a very distressed Zane on the sidewalk outside his former apartment filled Noah’s mind. “Someone was in a tight spot and needed transportation for a while.” An uptick in Noah’s heartbeat and somersaults in his stomach increased the grit already in his voice. “I lent him the Accord.”
“Him?” Janice’s eyebrows shot up so fast they almost looked like they’d changed zip codes. “Someone new?”
“New, yes,” Noah conceded, but then added, “But not like that. Just someone who needed help.” The crazy idea that Zane might hear Noah’s explanation of him, and think
Stop it! Noah reminded himself that even though he would see Zane in a few hours, he would have his son with him and Zane would have his brother and sister too. It was inappropriate to have such full-bodied sexual fantasies about Zane at all; to allow them to fester in his consciousness while in the presence of three children was unacceptable. Beyond that , Noah reminded himself, you have another date with Ram next week. You need to start thinking of ways to make that evening a success, not ways to sabotage it before it starts.
Noah had given Ram such a detailed description of his evening fixing a sink and cleaning a kitchen that at a certain point the man had barked with laughter through the phone and said, “Okay, all right, enough. I believe you. You weren’t trying to ditch me on our date.” After Noah had promised, “No, I wasn’t,” Ram had murmured, “So, would you like to try again?” Noah had said he would, and they’d agreed to a night and time to get together. Noah just had to keep his focus on next Friday evening and steer clear of daydreams and porn featuring young, dark-haired men. He needed no more reminders of Zane Halliday than necessary, if for no other reason than that Noah craved a return to his usual relaxed state of living. He’d had such while married and living with his family, but it was something he feared he would never get back in this new life.
Just then the best possible cure for Noah’s mood swings burst out of the front door and ran toward him at the speed of light, shouting, “Dad! You’re here!” and then barreled into Noah and wrapped his arms around his waist.
Joy and light instantly filled Noah, practically lifting him off the ground. “Hey, Matthew.” He squeezed his kid and pressed a kiss to the top of his blond locks. “How’s my boy?”
After drawing back, Matthew said, “It’s Matt now, Dad. I don’t like Matthew anymore.”
Noah crossed his arms and studied his son with a deadly serious eye. “Matt it is,” he replied. “I like it. It makes you sound at least seventeen.”
Mimicking Noah, Matt crossed his arms against his chest too. “Daaaadddd.”
“Okay,” with a critical stare, Noah pretended to reconsider, “at least fifteen and a half.”
Matt rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He gave Noah one more quick hug. “I’ll go wait in the car.”
“In the truck, kiddo,” Noah corrected, watching his son as the boy—still all arms and legs—ran toward the sidewalk. “It’s unlocked. Strap yourself in the front seat.”
As Noah watched Matt climb in the passenger side, a slender, familiar presence appeared at his right.
“Where’s the Accord?” Janice asked.
“Hey, honey.” Biting his tongue as soon as the endearment left his lips, Noah muttered, “Sorry. Hard habit to break.”
“It’s all right.” With a nudge against Noah’s arm, Janice then jerked her shoulder toward the street. “What’s with the truck? Did something happen to the car?”
The image of a very distressed Zane on the sidewalk outside his former apartment filled Noah’s mind. “Someone was in a tight spot and needed transportation for a while.” An uptick in Noah’s heartbeat and somersaults in his stomach increased the grit already in his voice. “I lent him the Accord.”
“Him?” Janice’s eyebrows shot up so fast they almost looked like they’d changed zip codes. “Someone new?”
“New, yes,” Noah conceded, but then added, “But not like that. Just someone who needed help.” The crazy idea that Zane might hear Noah’s explanation of him, and think
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