Read Online Maybe Baby by Kim Golden - Free Book Online Page A

really see anyone who looked like he should be the man whose... DNA should mix with mine."
    "Do you still have the files?"
    "Yes, I keep going through them to see if anyone really jumps out at me." I didn't want to reveal that there was only one file I kept reviewing. Only one file was worth reading for me. I sometimes imagined what our children would look like. Because if I went through it once, I would do it again. I wanted two kids. And I knew if I went through with artificial insemination, I would want Mads to be the father.
    My phone beeped. I glanced at it; a reminder that I had a meeting in twenty minutes. "I need to get back to work. Meeting."
    Eddy kissed my cheek. "I know there's more than you're letting on, sweetie. You're just too distracted."
    "I... I'm just nervous about telling Niklas, that's all."
    I rushed back to work, telling myself this was for the best. If I told Eddy, it would make whatever was happe ning between Mads and me too real. As it was, when only I knew, I could pretend it was insignificant. I could compartmentalize everything that had happened, erase his number from my phone, and try to convince myself that Mads was just one of those men who knew how to charm a woman into anything. It would have been so easy to dismiss the feelings I had for him. It wasn't something that was burning inside of me, threatening to tear apart my life with Niklas.
    *      *      *
    —I'm not going to keep texting you. I have the feeling you've got regrets.
    —No regrets, just confused. I don't know what to do.
    —I want to see you again.
    —I want to see you too.
    —Well, at least we know that.
    —I could come next weekend.
    —Another meeting?
    —No, but I'll tell Niklas I've got meetings.
    —Don't lie like that, Laney. Say you're seeing a friend. That's the truth… technically.
    —I can't just say that. He knows all of my friends in C openhagen.
    —Okay, Okay. Sorry. I just… I miss you. I feel like we need to explore this.
    —Me too.
    —I could come to Stockholm.
    —No, it's easier if I come to you.
    —So you'll come.
    —I'll text you when I've booked my tickets.
    —Don't book a hotel, stay with me.
    —Easier if I book a hotel...
    —No, stay with me this time.
    *      *      *
    We went to the countryside, Niklas and I. But being there with just the two of us no longer felt like such a brilliant idea. We drove to Skåne early in the morning to beat the traffic, but Niklas was irritable. By the time we arrived at our house in Yngsjö, his mood was so foul I wished I'd stayed home. But I told myself to ignore it. Once we opened up the house and let some fresh air in, he would be fine. Besides, the weather was perfect for a long weekend—the sky was a perfect shade of turquoise. The waves rolled and splashed against the shoreline. I kicked off my shoes and pulled open the sliding glass door. A salty breeze swirled past me. I could see a bumblebee buzzing around the asters I'd planted. I folded my arms across my chest and stood on the wooden slats of the terrace, letting the air fill me. Behind me, Niklas muttered complaints. His sister hadn't kept the house as he liked it. He'd have to spend all weekend rearranging things so they were how liked them.
    "It doesn't matter, Niklas," I called out over my shoulder. "We're only going to be here a few days. We can put it right at Christmas."
    He swore, ignored me, and started moving things around in the kitchen cupboards. I shook my head. I knew I ought to help him, but I just didn't see the point. He would go behind me, changing whatever I fixed. The tension between us would pull tighter and we'd end up fighting in that way that never seemed like a fight to other people--with me simply avoiding Niklas and putting as much distance between us as possible and him pointedly glaring at me and not saying a word. Fights like that could last for days, or weeks, even. And now didn't seem like a good time to even cross into that